Pirates of Underwhere by Bruce Hale Read Free Book Online

woman.
    â€œYou mean my gold’s, like, totally bogus ?” wailed Caitlyn.
    The fake Bobby Bob Moxenboxer snarled. “A pox on all you Uplanders! And you ”—he pointed at me—“you’ll see me again. This isn’t over!”
    With that, he shook his right fist and shot out his fingers. “Menthazar!”
    Powf!
    Sparks showered. Blue smoke rolled over the podium and the surprised crowd. Coughing, I searched for the UnderLord.
    But he was gone.
    The mayor blinked. “Does this mean we’re not getting our new City Hall?”

CHAPTER 15
Down the Drain Again
    The next day, I didn’t know how to feel. I’d never been so confused by trying to do right.
    We had frustrated the UnderLord’s plan, which was good. But we had lost the Brush to Mr. Wheener, which was bad. I had stood up for the Undies with Zeke and Hector—good. But I got kicked off the Mathletes team before our first match—really bad.
    At least one thing brought a smile. After the town meeting, we had passed the phony brush to the two spies. Let them run their high-tech tests on that !
    All through class that day, Melvin kept smirking at Zeke and me. And this boy had one ugly smirk. Maybe he’d taken the Brush from us, but at least we could be thankful that this monkey brain didn’t know about Underwhere.
    After school, I went to watch the Mathletes compete. Amir and the others looked so smart in their red team shirts. But someone was missing.
    â€œMrs. R,” I said, going up to her. “Where’s Heather?”
    â€œShe’s sick,” said Mrs. Ricotta. “We’ll have to compete without her.”
    â€œLet Stephanie take her place,” someone said.
    I turned around, and there was Zeke.
    â€œShe’s missed two practices,” said Mrs. Ricotta. “It wouldn’t be fair.”
    He shook his head. “You don’t understand. Steph is a math freak . She only missed practice because of me , and she just finished an awesomemath project for the Un—uh, unbelievably lucky friends of ours.”
    Mrs. R looked at Zeke with a funny expression, but she said, “Okay.”
    I didn’t wait to hear it twice. After donning a spare T-shirt, I joined the team.
    The match went back and forth. We hit our dingers and shouted out our answers. In the end, our team won by a single point.
    Afterward, Zeke and I walked home together.
    â€œSo,” I said, “what did you think?”
    â€œNerd city,” he said, raising a shoulder.
    I smiled. We turned off Sycamore onto our street.
    â€œYou know,” said Zeke. “I never thought I’d say this, but…”
    â€œWhat? ‘My sister is the smartest and prettiest girl ever’?”
    â€œNo, Steph-apotamus,” he said. “That it’sactually good to have a day off from saving the planet.”
    Hector and Fitz came running up the sidewalk to meet us.
    â€œRee- eeow , rauw,” Fitz yowled.
    â€œCome quick, you guys!” cried Hector. He looked worried.
    I flashed a glance at Zeke. “What is it?”
    â€œMelvin,” said Hector.
    Zeke slumped. “What’s he done now, stolen the Throne?”
    â€œWorse,” said Hector. “I was out looking for Fitz, and I found him in that construction site.”
    â€œYes…?” I said.
    Hector hustled us up the street. “And you’ll never guess who I saw there.”
    â€œMelvin,” said Zeke. “Duh.”
    â€œ Duh , yourself,” said Hector. “Melvin has gone into Underwhere.”
    I stopped cold. “Oh, no.”
    â€œOh, yes.”
    Zeke smiled and shook his head. “So much for that day off.”
    Basic math : One bully, plus a magical land, minus common sense, equals…big trouble.
    â€œGuess we’ve got another problem to solve,” I said.

About the Author and the Illustrator
    BRUCE HALE (Bruce the Blackheart) is not much of a seafarer, so his