bitchiness out of you, or it will show up on camera. The worst thing you can do is make them hate you even more than they already do. If you’re going to do an interview and introduce yourself to the entire world, don’t you want them to at least like you a little bit?”
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” I complained.
“Oh, poor little girl,” Chaz whined. “A movie star fell in love with her and she didn’t ask for any of this.”
What the hell was that? Was that really how Chaz viewed me? Would that be what people thought of me?
“I don’t think I want to do the interview anymore,” I said.
“Stop it,” he scoffed. “Of course you’re doing the interview. I already told Kelly you were doing the interview. If you back out now, even that’ll be news. And it definitely won’t be good.”
“Then help me do the interview well,” I said. “Stop insulting me. I delivered pizzas for a living before this. I don’t know what I’m doing, and Devon said to trust you.”
Chaz sighed. “Look. Take whatever anxiety or doubts you’re having about the interview and magnify them by a metric fuck ton. That’s how terrified I am of it.”
“This isn’t helping.” My eyes darted around, looking for the nearest exit.
“What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m going to help you,” Chaz said. “Everything that happens in this interview is going to blow back on Devon, and if anything negative tries to stick, it’s my job to unstick it. I can’t have him looking bad. He’s my meal ticket. That’s an unkind way to put it, but it’s the truth. So my job is to keep him looking good, and now that extends to you. You’re going to do fine because you’re going to do exactly what I say. Right down to the haircut.”
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t stutter.” Chaz tapped on his phone, texting someone. “You’re going to have to look good. Didn't I tell you that was the most important thing? And even I know that’s not a good length for you. It does your face a disservice.”
Was he saying that my face was pretty or my hair was wretched? Had the man ever given a compliment in his life?
“You’ll have hair and makeup done prior to the interview, of course,” he said, not bothering to look up from his phone. “But you can’t go in there expecting a miracle. You have to arrive looking good or it will find its way out that you came to the interview a hot mess. We also have to go shopping. Ugh. I’ll just have a personal shopper bring some selections over in your size. That’s the better plan. I’ll just bring all of this to you. You shouldn’t be seen in public until you have your new look.”
It was a relief to me that I didn’t have to be seen in public with Chaz. I honestly had no idea why Devon tolerated his presence. Chaz hadn’t grown on me one bit, and he hadn’t done anything to build my confidence about the interview.
An army of beauty and appearance professionals arrived at the house shortly after we finished our beverages, going over possible questions Kelly might ask.
“Smile!” Chaz kept barking. “Who’s going to be sure of you if you look unsure of yourself?”
He continued to coach me even as a stylist had me leaning back over a sink, scrubbing my scalp raw.
“What do you think of LA?” he asked, still fiddling with his phone.
“I think it’s very new and exciting,” I said, mimicking the exact tone of the answer he’d fed me earlier.
“That’s not very believable,” he said, frowning at his phone before flicking his finger over the display several times. “Aren’t Texans supposed to have an accent?”
“Some do,” I said. “I don’t. I lived in Dallas.”
“Can’t you just talk with an accent?” he asked. “Come on. We need them to pity you. If they pity you, they have less room for hatred.”
“Why would they pity me over an accent?” I asked.
“Because people go to classes here to get rid of things like Texas accents,” Chaz