Prescription for Chaos by Christopher Anvil Read Free Book Online Page A

1040, Mort."
    Hommel dutifully turned pages, and read:
    "Curiously enough, the proprietary preparation known as 'De-Tox' was found to affect negatively all the above-mentioned correlations. The values given are, therefore, those obtained when both experimental and control groups had refrained from the use of 'De-Tox' for a period of fourteen weeks."
    Hommel hunted through the body of the article, written in a far less congenial manner than the footnote, and after a brief hard struggle, gave it up.
    Banner smiled. "You have to crush all that wordage through a hydraulic press to get the meaning out of it."
    "But what does it mean?"
    "In his words, 'progressive and ordered civilization depends for its smooth functioning upon the existence, in a sizable proportion of the populace, of an extensive degree of waking suggestibility, and in some cases a mild state of hypnosis.'"
    Hommel thought it over. "And he says, just incidentally, that our De-Tox cuts down this suggestibility?"
    "That's it."
    Hommel groaned.
    "Nice, isn't it?" said Banner. "The pills are all over the world."
    "Do you suppose he's right?"
    Banner scowled. "That's a good question. Do you get out much, Mort?"
    "Well . . . lately, since we've been working on this new hay-fever drug . . ."
    "I know," said Banner. "I've been tied up lately myself. You've just been going back and forth between your office and apartment, right?"
    "That's pretty close to it."
    "Read the papers?"
    "Just the headlines."
    Banner tossed over a folded newspaper. "Take a look at the car ad on the back page."
    Hommel turned the page over, and read:
     
Quality, Comfort, Durability
Abelson's presents the first choice of long-lasting motor vehicles. The price is low but the value is high. Every interior is cleaned, all fittings tightened, and all moving parts lubricated. Why pay $4,000.00 and up for "newness"? Who cares if the fenders sweep up, out, or down? What's a little rust? A car is transportation. Who cares if the style is boxy, stretched-out, flattened, or flaring? Let's be frank; Do you want to buy a new car and look like a fool to the neighbors? Drop in at Abelson's Used Car Lot and see our selection of best buys from the best years.
    You'll be glad you did.
     
    Hommel looked at the picture above the advertising message. The picture showed an exaggeratedly modern-looking car, with a grille like two rows of teeth, and the ends of four bills, each labeled $1,000, sticking out between the teeth.
    He read the ad over and over again, and one line stood out:
    "Let's be frank: Do you want to buy a new car and look like a fool to the neighbors?"
    Hommel scratched his head. "I certainly seem to have missed something ."
    Banner glanced at his watch. "Let's go into town for lunch. We can circulate around a little, and look things over."
    Banner Laboratories was located well out of town, so it was after noon when they got there, and the best eating places were crowded.
    Banner said, "If you can hold out for an hour or so, Mort, it might be a good idea to just look around."
    "Suits me."
    Banner parked the car, and they got out, across the street from a large new-car showroom. The big window was plastered with bright stickers, and the face of the building was hung with pennants and streamers.
    Hommel felt the usual quickening of his pulse as he and Banner approached the door. They stepped in, to be assaulted by a glitter of polished metal, a fresh new-rubber smell, and the impressive sight of a brand-new car slowly revolving on a turntable.
    Across the room, four or five salesmen sat hunched around a table, their ties loosened, coats hanging over the backs of their chairs, and smoldering cigarettes drooping out of the corners of their mouths as they played a listless game of pinochle.
    The door clicked and banged shut.
    The salesmen looked around, blinking. There was one swift complex movement, a momentary waving of arms, sawing of elbows, scraping of chairs, and a salesman, exhaling a cloud of