Priceless Inspirations by Antonia Carter Read Free Book Online Page B

saying that, just like my mom, I was bringing children into the world that I couldn’t take care of.
    “You a baby having a baby,” my grandmother said, shaking her head. I felt bad because I knew she was right.
    The rest of my family had more to say. They didn’t want to help me raise a child. They were already mad because they’d had to raise me. Since they had to raise me, they decided they had the right to make the decision about what to do about my pregnancy for me. So one day, not long after they learned of my situation, they got me into a car and took me back the Family Planning Clinic, this time for an abortion.
    I didn’t want to have an abortion. I was scared. I knew I didn’t know how to raise a baby. I knew I didn’t have any idea how to be a good mother. I also knew I didn’t want to have an abortion. I cried and cried. In the end, the clinic refused to do it because I was only 14. By law, the only person who could consent for me to have an abortion was my legal guardian. Since my mother had never legally given up custody of me, it didn’t matter who I was living with. She was the only one who could consent for me to end the pregnancy.
    At other times, the fact that my mother was still my legal guardian had been a real problem for me, especially when it came to registering for school and things like that. Only my mom could sign the papers that would allow me to start going to class, and to get her to sign them, first you had to find her, then you had to get her off drugs long enough to understand what you needed her to do.
    This time, it worked out in my favor. Since she was still my legal guardian, only she could give consent to end my pregnancy, and it was impossible for her to give her consent anytime soon. She was in jail for a drug charge and wouldn’t be out for another year.
    I was going to get to keep my baby.
    My aunts wanted me to have an abortion, so I knew I didn’t have their support. Dream’s career was growing and he was going to be away from me more and more, so his support was uncertain. I was still in high school and had no idea what I was going to do or how to be a mother.
    I was scared, alone and terrified about everything that had to do with pregnancy and motherhood. More than once, I wished I could go back and make a different decision. I love my daughter dearly, but I for her sake and my own, I wish she had been born when I was older, more mature and had more family support to offer her. Instead, when I found out I was going to be a mother, I had nothing, not even a place to stay.
    Toya’s Priceless Gem: Wait for sex if you can, but when you know you’re going to be sexually active, protect yourself. Don’t expect the guy to do it. Always look out for yourself! After all, you’re the one who will have to have the baby, and that will change your life forever!

PREGNANCY AND MOTHERHOOD
     
    There’s an old saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, and it’s supposed to mean that people who come from the same family are kind of alike. In my case, it isn’t true.
    I’m the apple that fell from the tree and rolled-and rolled and rolled. At least as far parenthood goes, I’ve done everything I could to be as different from my parents as night is different from day.
    I’ll never forget it. When the nurse put Reginae in my arms after she was born, I looked into her tiny face and I made her a promise that, whatever else I did wrong in life, I wouldn’t make my mother’s mistakes. I knew I’d do better by my daughter than was done by me. I’d do everything I could for her to have everything I never had and more.
    From the way she’s turned out, I think I’ve done okay so far. Reginae is about to turn 12. She’s nearly at the age I was when my anger made me stop listening, when I discovered boys, and when I wanted my freedom, no matter what anyone said.
    Already she says to me, “Mom you’re too mean! You’re too strict.”
    I tell her, “Mama loves you.