Primal Scream (Box Set #1, Taboo Sex + AFF) by Jess C Scott Read Free Book Online

their exams seriously what is Education nowadays life is so short, I’m so tempted to do this .
    One thing is that as we Julie and I were talking today...we talked about that night and admitted that we both enjoyed it and “in theory” it’s blabbity bleh oh so wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together.
    But we both love each other, more than ever before, in a way I never thought was possible. In a way I never in my wildest dreams would have believed I’d know...but if this is true...jesus hella christ I can and will do
     
    ANYTHING.
     
    [Julie : 8 June 2008]
     
    So far, so good. Everything is still under the radar.
    I think Ed’s one of those people who’d easily beat a lie detector test. On Christmas day, before we left his apartment, he told me not to worry about us being found out, that he’d “throw everyone off track.” I said okay, but I didn’t realize how convincing he’d be.
    There he was telling everybody (who asked) how he’s “going out with a girl he met online” and how they “have a lot in common”...and when asked what her name was, he said, “Bella,” and this mystery girl was “studying to be a nurse.”  I had to ask him when we had a moment alone, to double-check whether it was true.
    “ Of course not,” he said. “It’s all made up...I told you about it. Didn’t I?”
    “ Uhm, throwing people...off guard?”
    “ Yeah. And, Julie...” he whispered into my ear. “We were watching the same TV screen. I got all the info from there. Even the name.”
    “ What were we watching? When?”
    “ CSI. Before dinner.”
    I still think he could have prepared me a little better. And yes we had been watching TV for a few minutes, before I left to do something else. I wasn’t even aware, that I wasn’t aware of what show was on. All I remember was Ed’s unhurried, but deliberate hand going onto my thigh, when he saw that no one was around. I really had to move out of there immediately. We smooched in his room later, but didn’t dare risk trying anything else.
    Fast-forward a few months. I’m a high school graduate.
    I’m at Ed’s place now. I’m spending two weeks here. I catch up on reading for leisure (not for studies) during the day, when he isn’t in.
    I’m glad to be out of school...and at the same time, I’m at an absolute loss as to what to do...I mean, do I know what I want to do or be?
    I figure I’ll get some crummy job and start saving up...so that if/when I do want to do something, I have the means to do so. A little bit, at least.
    So we talk about all this at night, lying side by side on his bed.
    Ed says a friend told him about teaching English overseas, with this program. It’s so mad, and seems to be a cool idea. But he says he won’t go if I want him to stay.
    “ Good Lord,” I say. “Just go for it.”
    “ Would you come along?” Ed asks.
    “ I’d love to, if I could...have you checked it out?”
    “ I will be...I’d like to see how it feels out in the world...but I don’t know how you feel about it.”
    “ Well...I don’t want to hold you back, just because I’d rather you be closer to home.”
    I’d be lying if I say I have no reservations. But I think it’s selfish if I put myself first. My brother has been talking about this since he knew what an airplane was, so it means a lot to him.
    “ We’ll figure something out,” Ed says. Assuredly.
    Ed’s like so...brave. He just goes for what he wants. I really admire the way he throws himself into his endeavors whole-heartedly. I guess that way you really experience what life has to offer, clichéd as it sounds.
    Deep down I know what I want...but I’m just not sure. It’s not just the fact about hiding it from everybody...I just...don’t want to destroy what we have? I mean, this is worse than deep sea diving over a cliff with no life-jacket, and you can see the sharp rocks jutting out, and you’re trying and trying to dodge them...
    Our feelings are more than just brother and