Psycho Inside Me by Bonnie R. Paulson Read Free Book Online Page B

hadn’t tried running. I’d sat there. Frozen. Passive.
    But not this time.
    This time, Deegan stood nearby and I knew it. This time, I could run. I could use my own weapon. I could do more harm, if he didn’t listen to me.
    Rustling behind me and then a soft, sneaky tread on the worn carpet coming close, closer, so close as he stood in front of me. He had to be staring at me. I couldn’t open my eyes. I tried peeking through my eyelashes, but didn’t see enough to note.
    I couldn’t see his moves or what he planned to do or even his expressions.
    Okay, choosing sleepy had not been the best choice looking back.
    The soft fall of material covered my knee. He shook the blanket over me, unaware that I moved my arms into position, one to grab the knife and the other into an open palm as if ready to clutch something in my fingers. I gave the latter a relaxed look and slid it out from under the blanket.
    For good measure, I sighed and nestled into the cushions, muttering. “Thanks, Sheldon.”
    More weight fell on the blanket on top of me. Hot moist air puffed into my ear and on my neck. “My pleasure, little girl.” Then his hands crept under the blanket and he felt the edges of my clothing, tracing up the seams like a blind man reading a Braille map. Goosebumps covered my arms and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
    Salty breath laced with the rot of beer and the spice of pepperoni filled my space. I gripped my knife harder, the muscles under my thumb pad spasming from desperate strength.
    I’d allowed him to get too close. He touched my waist. I breathed slow and steady.
    If he reached any higher, I might not recover.
    Come on, Cassie. You can do this. You can do this.
    Suddenly, his two hands seemed as if they were four, then six. He moved them fast, trying to reach all of me at once. Bobby’s face filled my vision. I couldn’t let Sheldon have my underwear or see them, get close to them. That had been the breaking point of my control with Bobby. Sheldon wouldn’t have that. I’d never allow that again.
    My arm across my breasts and my legs pressed together saved my bikini parts from his exploration, but the yank to my upper knee promised his game was just beginning. He pulled the blanket from me, exposing me to his hands and his eyes.
    The whirr of a zipper and slide of pants dropping shot my heart rate into an immeasurable range. Flashes of Bobby ditching his pants by the boulder blinded me for a moment. I’d forgotten the immediacy of the moment as Bobby had stalked toward me. The hunger in his stance.
    More importantly, the fear in my stomach.
    What am I doing? I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I clenched the knife handle, moved now to the pocket of my sweatshirt. Sweat gathered under my bra and at the small of my back. I opened my eyes. I couldn’t help it at that point.
    Sheldon had moved himself above me, his eyes bright with lust – similar to how Bobb y’s had been. He grabbed my pants, pulling me onto my back and straightening my hips.
    Opening my mouth to protest, I jerked my head back when his closed hand covered my mouth and nose. I hadn’t been prepared and he shut off my breath in the middle of inhaling. Panic mingled with images of Bobby and the Js as they came for me, determined to finish what they’d started.
    I couldn’t make a sound. Deegan didn’t know I needed help. But I cried out for him in my mind. Help. Deegan. Help.
    My running muscles didn’t let me down. I closed my legs, hard. Anger tightened Sheldon’s features and for a second I couldn’t remember where I was – Kari’s house became the peninsula. Sheldon was Bobby back to life and I was still my thirteen-year-old self, scared of everything and certain no one saw me.
    He reached for my legs, pulling with both hands to separate them – releasing my mouth and nose. I inhaled deep and refused to allow my knees to open. They didn’t budge. I was a runner and my legs did what I wanted. Not what some