Pumpkin Pie by Jean Ure Read Free Book Online Page B

whiskers was Zoë Davidson. She was the one I crashed into when I got my left muddled up with my right and turned the wrong way. She had an even higher opinion of herself than Twinkle. This wasn’t because she was specially gorgeous, it was because she’d been on television and had recently done a commercial for something-or-other, I have forgotten what as thankfully I never saw it. Saffy did. She said it was nauseating.
    “Vomit-making! Pukey!
Yuck!”
    Even though Zoë wasn’t one of the gorgeous ones, I suppose she was sort of cheeky-looking. She had what Mrs Ambrose called “a televisual face”. The sort of face that can be filmed from almost any angle.
    “Either the camera likes you or it doesn’t.”
    That was what
she
said. Zoë. Talk about loving yourself! She really reckoned she was some kind of star. Not that she was the only one who’d been on the telly or appeared in commercials. Several of the kids had. Mark had even been in the West End! But he didn’t boast about it. Zoë just really fancied herself. Everyone said she was going to go places; even Saffy. Saffy said, “She’s the sort that does.”
    She said that you had to be a bit big-headed and pushy and think a lot of yourself, because if you didn’t think a lot of yourself then who else would?
    I wondered if this was true. If so, I found it rather depressing. More than anything else in the world I wanted to have loads of confidence; but I didn’t want to be big-headed and pushy! Did this mean I wouldn’t ever get anywhere? I asked Saffy and she said it depended where I wanted to get. She said, “I expect you could probably get somewhere if you just wanted to do something ordinary, like working in a shop. But not if you wanted to be a big movie star.”
    My face must have fallen, because she then added comfortingly that that was all right because I didn’t want to be a big movie star, did I?
    “It’s not what we came for,” she said. “You know what we came for!” And she pulled a face and jerked her head and rolled her eyes in the direction of a group of boys on the opposite side of the street. (We were on our way to Friday classes at the time.)
“That’s
what we came for… right?”
    I said, “Right. But I wouldn’t actually mind being a movie star!”
    It just, like, blurted out before I could stop it. I thought for a dreadful moment that Saffy was going to laugh, but she is my friend and we always take each other seriously. After all, I had taken her seriously when she once confided in me that she thought she would like to be a missionary and go round converting people. Which was really quite funny considering she was the one who was sent out of an RE class for having an unseemly fit of the giggles at what Miss Cooper called “a totally inappropriate moment”. (She has now decided that it is wrong to try and convert people as she feels they are probably quite happy left as they are. And, in any case, she is an atheist.)
    “Do you think I’m being stupid?” I said.
    Saffy said that it was never stupid to be ambitious and want to get on in life.
    “Yes, but do you think I stand any chance?” I said.
    Bracingly Saffy said that everybody stood a chance.
    “It depends how determined you are.”
    “I’m very determined,” I said. I was. I really was! I could see a whole glorious future unfolding before me.
    “Well, this is what’s important,” said Saffy. “Knowing what you want and going for it.”
    “Even though I don’t have much confidence?” I said.
    Saffy told me that I had got to get confidence. She said there was no reason why I shouldn’t have it.
    “You know you can speak OK, Mrs A’s always holding you up as an example. And you do have confidence when you get up and act.”
    I said, “It’s different when you’re acting. You’re being someone else.”
    “But what about when you have to go for auditions?” said Saffy.
    We’d been learning about auditions just recently from Mrs Ambrose. How to