discarded, soggy cardboard boxes, and I was careful to tip toe around broken bottles, most likely the remnants of last weekend’s drinking festivities. It wasn’t a romantic spot, that was sure, but no one would be able to see us here.
I stood facing Max, glancing at his lips. I pressed my hands against his firm chest and pushed him against the wall. His lips were soft and inviting, and I could smell the malty beer upon his breath.
“We shouldn’t do this, Kate. I’m practically your boss,” he said with a sigh as I ran my hands up towards the back of his neck and through his hair.
I leaned forward before he could protest, angling my head and placed a keen kiss on his mouth. His lips parted ever so slightly, letting his warm breath escape. I wanted more, but it was over too quick; he pulled back.
“What are you doing?” His eyes were wide.
“You ask too many questions, Max,” I responded, popping open the top button of my blouse. His eyes travelled to my cleavage and quickly, as if caught, back up to my hungry eyes. I could see he was conflicted.
“It’s OK; you can look. I want you, Max. Right here.” Spelling it out for him.
“You’re drunk.”
“Don’t you want to touch me?” I said, swirling a finger over my breasts and letting it travel into the crack of my cleavage.
“I—” he stammered.
“I know you want me, you always have,” I said, removing and guiding his hands from his sides up my torso onto my breasts.
He was like a deer in headlights, not knowing which way to turn, perfectly still.
“I’m sorry, we can’t do this here, Kate. I know you… and this isn’t you. What has gotten into you?” A frown creased his face.
“Maybe, it’s who I want to be!” I said defensively.
He removed his hands from my chest and caught my hands in his own, holding them gently, reassuring me.
“Kate, you’re gorgeous and sweet. You don’t need to throw yourself at me to get my attention.”
I sighed, not hearing him, disappointed, and bowed my head. It was stupid to try this – he was my friend, my boss. What the hell was I thinking? That one night weeks before was going to plague me for the rest of my life, and I resigned myself to thinking I would never experience anything like it again.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Max suggested.
We emerged from the alleyway, and he took my hand.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I lied, mortified.
“No need to explain, remember – fresh start on Monday,” he encouraged. I think he was just as embarrassed as I was.
We walked the length of the street in silence towards the line of waiting taxis, their yellow lights shining like homing beacons. His hand felt comfortable in mine; it was nice, safe. It would be a shame to let it go.
“Cheer up, it’s not the end of the world. No harm done,” he said, letting go of my hand and brushing a loose strand of hair away from my downcast face.
Just as I was about to get into the taxi, ready to thank him and tell him I was sorry again, his lips grazed my blushing cheek as he kissed me goodnight. Smiling, he pulled away and held the door open for me to get in.
“Night, Kate,” he said, closing the door and gently rapping his knuckles upon the roof of the car.
“Night,” I whispered through the glass, raising a timid wave in reply. I’d been too pushy; he didn’t deserve that.
Had I been wrong? I’d always been under the impression he’d had a thing for me back when we were at Uni… talk about getting my signals all mixed up. He had just been acting like himself, being his normal friendly self, and I’d acted like a horny school-girl. I could see that now, and I was surprised to feel disappointed at his rejection. Had I got it into my daft head that Max would be my fall-back guy?
11
“ W here to , pet?” the driver asked.
Sobered by rejection and the fool I’d made of myself, my head was clearer, and I knew what needed to be done. I did not want to go home with the weight