Razing Kayne by Julieanne Reeves Read Free Book Online Page A

in her life. Didn't want one. Did. Not. He'd already failed one wife, one family. He would never be put in that position
     again.
    Granted, Oksana had been so terribly young and struggled to find her place in a new
     country so unlike Russia. In the beginning, the only happiness she seemed to find
     was at the Russian Community Center. It was more than an hour drive, each away, but
     Kayne hadn't cared; it had made her happy, and that was all that mattered. So he'd
     made the round trip twice a day, three days a week, for months until she got her driver's
     license. Once that happened, she’d gone every day. Even when she was heavy with child,
     she'd made the long drive to be with her friends.
    Some days he felt like the cops were right—that he had killed her. Not by pulling the trigger, but by how he'd handled things. Why had he,
     a professional, not seen the warning signs for what they were and been able to stop
     it? He'd failed his children, by failing his wife.
    Jessica though…she was different. She was a good mother to children that hadn't come
     from her womb. It took an incredible person to open themselves up like that. The thought
     that he could, in some way, taint that made him physically ill. They'd already lost
     too much. Though Jessica needed someone, it wasn't him. And if the idea of her with
     another man made his stomach churn, he'd just have to get over it.
    ***
    Later that night, Kayne climbed into the shower, utterly exhausted. Alone in his quiet
     little house with no one to care for, no one to be strong for, he let the emotions
     wash over him. He punched the tile as hard as he could again and again, until his
     knuckles bled, then slumped down to the floor and sobbed.
    Christ almighty! He missed his children so damned much. For the first time in nearly two years, he
     even missed Oksana. Regardless of what she'd done, he couldn't help but miss the glimpses
     of the girl he’d thought he'd known before that fateful day. He hated the silence,
     his cold empty bed, and the nightmares that never faded.
    How in God's name was he supposed to endure seeing his precious children's lifeless
     bodies laid out on a tile floor, wrapped in towels, ready to be disposed of as if
     they were garbage, every time he closed his eyes? How the fuck was he supposed to move past helplessly watching someone he had vowed to love kill herself? To have her blood and matter covering his
     body and not have it indelibly imprinted onto his soul. The memories haunted him.
    Autopsies confirmed both children had been dead for hours, so why had she waited?
     Did she get what she was looking for by seeing his reaction to what she'd done before
     she killed herself? If her intent was to destroy him, she’d succeeded. If she’d put
     the gun to his head and pulled the trigger that day instead of hers, it would have
     been a blessing.
    Eventually, when the water chilled, when he’d started shaking from the cold instead
     of the anger and heart wrenching pain, he shut off the water and climbed out. He managed
     to pull on a pair of sweats then sat down on the couch with a bottle of whiskey and
     his firearm, determined. This would be the night. All he wanted was to be with his
     children.
    After his fourth shot of whiskey, he picked up his service weapon and made sure it
     was loaded and chambered. A useless delay tactic. God, he was such a fucking coward. Then with a trembling hand, he set the firearm
     down before throwing back another drink.
    Inevitably, his thoughts drifted to Jessica, and her sweet little family; to Gracie
     who reminded him so much of his Natalia. By some miracle was Tasha still out there
     somewhere? Was she safe? Loved?
    Kayne drifted into unconsciousness with images of a little girl toddling toward him
     who looked very much like Gracie Hallstatt, but she was calling him “Papa.”
     

SIX
     
    It took Jess two days to screw up her nerve to call Kayne and apologize. She wasn't
     sure why it mattered so