Razor's Edge (Afflictions) by Racquel Reck Read Free Book Online Page B

half hour."
    Climbing the stairs to my loft, the sound of water running filters down the small staircase. Ben’s brushing his teeth. I smile and enter. My loft is huge with big floor-to-ceiling windows. Everything is open, the kitchen and dining room lead into the large living room slash bedroom. Ben’s bed is in the far corner and mine is in the opposite with curtains around it. The only room in here is the bathroom, which Gary put in. It was supposed to be an apology for cheating on me, and a gift since he found out I was pregnant with Ben. I should have run then. 
    My kitchen is off to the left and I head there first. The money and the report have to go in the safe. I open up the cabinet under my sink and stuff them in there.
    The water cuts off and Ben comes barreling out of the bathroom in his black-and-white skull PJs.
    "What story are you going to read to me tonight?" I always have him read the stories. It’s better practice and for a minute there his grades were lacking in that department.
    Ben walks over to his bookshelf and pulls out Where the Wild Things Are. Good choice and it’s a fast read. I tuck him in and we say his prayers. Then I climb in bed and snuggle him as he reads the story of a wild little boy named Max. I lean down and kiss the top of his black, curly head. Mm…watermelon. I love the smell of his kid shampoo. When he closes the book he looks up at me with innocent blue eyes. I’m a sucker for blue eyes.
    "Mom, why doesn’t Dad write to me? He doesn’t love me, does he?"
    My heart stops. My eyes burn and start to water. I hold the tears in not wanting Ben to see me cry. He needs to know that I'm strong, even if I'm not. It sounds like an innocent enough question, but how can I answer that without upsetting him? Lie . "Your father loves you very much."
    "No, he doesn’t." It’s a harsh comment, and the reality of it sucks. "He never writes to me, and if he loved me he wouldn’t have went away."
    I hug him to me and kiss his head, only to hide the tears that threaten to come, secretly cursing his father and myself for putting him in this position. Should’ve never hooked up with that evil bastard. But then I wouldn’t have Ben, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
    "He went away because he loves you so much." Filling his head with these lies hurts, but he’s not old enough to understand. "He has to get things in order so he can give you the best life possible."
    "Davon said that his dad knows mine, and that Dad gives him tatts in prison. But only bad people go to prison, Mom. What did he do?"
    That’s one question I have no clue how to answer. I never told Ben where his father is, only that he was away. Now I want to throttle Davon. "How about you read me another story?"
    “Why won’t you tell me? I’m eight—I can handle it. Did he kill someone?”
    “No.” Only almost killed me. That’s not why he’s in prison, though. I never told the cops who my attacker was—claimed I didn’t remember. If Gary got off from the drug charge, I didn’t want him hiring someone to knock me off for going to the cops and saying he beat me. “He did some things that were a little illegal.” And that’s all I’m saying.
    Ben eyes me for a minute like he’s going to ask more.
    I shake my head. “That’s all you’re getting out of me, and it’s way past your bedtime.”
    He yawns and snuggles further down into me. I grab the tale of Little Red Riding Hood off his nightstand and hand it to him. He begins to read me the story. But my mind wanders back to the time when Ben was three weeks old. I was exhausted, and asked Gary if he would feed him for me so I could get some sleep.
    If you didn’t want a kid, you shoulda kept your legs closed. Gary’s words burned deep, leaving a scar on my soul. My head keeps telling me that it wouldn’t have happened without him, that his harsh comment holds no meaning. That I wasn’t some slut he knocked up. Dammit. Silent tears.
    When I found out I