Remember When by A. D. Ryan Read Free Book Online Page B

We've talked about this for a while now.”
    The look in Cassie's eyes was no longer one of lust as she sighed and rolled her eyes. I could sense her frustration as she stood from my lap and snatched her shirt off the floor. The mood had shifted drastically. Sex was no longer on the table. “No, you talked about this. I kept telling you it wasn't going to happen.”
    “Cass—”
    She shook her head and pulled her shirt over her head, reaching behind her neck to remove her long hair from the collar. “No. I'm not going to chance another pregnancy. I'm not ready, and you, of all people, should know not to press this issue.”
    I stood from the bed and gripped her waist firmly as I placed a kiss to her nose. “We always said we wanted more than one,” I reminded her. “You loved being pregnant.”
    She placed her hands on my jaw and smiled. “I did. It was wonderful, and one of the best experiences of my life. But the year after?”
    The memory of that dark time stung to the very center of my being. Cassie had fallen into a deep depression. Her anti-depressants did little to nothing to help bring her out of it, and she was in such a state of denial about the whole thing, that there was nothing I could do to help. She refused it all, pulling away from everyone around her until she hit rock bottom.
    We were finally able to get it under control with a new anti-anxiety prescription in combination with her regular meds. The combination made her a little foggy, but it was better than the alternative. Without them, her moods were the worst I’d ever seen. It was one extreme to the other, and I feared what she might do to herself during one of her low points.
    “There's a chance that you wouldn't experience that again,” I breathed, trying to forget.
    She shook her head. “And also a chance I could. Jack, you were there, you saw just how bad it was. I missed most of the first six months of her life.”
    I smiled reassuringly and spoke softly, “I remember, but now that we know what to look for, we'd be better prepared to handle it.”
    Her face fell. “I'd be medicated again,” she whispered sadly.
    “Again?” Placing my fingers beneath her chin, I forced her eyes to mine. “Cassidy, have you gone off your meds completely?” She didn't have to answer; her eyes spoke volumes. “Love, was Sienna okay with that? You know the risks.”
    Cassie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “It's been a year since I started them. You know what they did to me…how they made me feel. So, I stopped taking them slowly. And I've been doing really well these last two months.” She paused for a moment before looking at me with conviction. “Even you couldn't tell the difference,” she tried to explain.
    I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. “So, you're telling me you came off your meds, and your doctor has no idea?”
    “I am,” she replied confidently. “I'm also telling you, I'm not interested in having any more children. At least…not for a while.” She turned from me then and closed herself in the bathroom, ending the discussion.
     
    When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Cassie leaning on the piano in front of me with the biggest smile on her face.
    “You're playing,” she said happily. “Geez, it's been what? Two years?”
    Instantly, I lifted my fingers from the keys and brought the fallboard back down. “Two and a half. Not since the night—”
    Her smile faded, eyes filling with sadness as they dropped to where her fingers danced along the smooth black finish. “Yeah,” she interrupted with a soft nod. “I remember.”
    A wry laugh escaped my lips as I picked up my glass and stood from the piano. “Wine?” I asked, holding the glass out to her.
    “Jack, you know I can't drink.” It shocked me that I had forgotten that.
    I shook my head. “Oh, right. I'm sorry.” I finished the rest of my drink and rinsed my glass before placing it in the sink. When I turned around, I found Cassie