disappointment from my parents. I could deal with the scrutiny of sleeping with someone that my cousin had been with, because it was what everyone expected out of me anyway. I was the fuck-up.
No matter how old I was, or what I’d done to make things right, I was clearly the one that couldn’t get things right. Nobody would even question this, because it was what they said would happen all along.
Ashley had been a part of the family, since she’d dated Ford for years. There was a time when we were all pretty close. She knew she could trust me.
“Fine, you want to keep the baby, then you’re going to do it my way. From this day forward, as far as everyone is concerned, that’s my baby you’re havin’.”
She looked shocked. “What? You’re crazy!”
“I’m serious, Ash. I can’t let this destroy Parker and I sure as Hell don’t want my father findin’ out later. This is the only way I see things workin’ out.”
“Your plan will never work. Ford knows the truth.”
“I’ll handle Ford. Honestly, he’ll probably be happy that my life is so miserable after keepin’ your secret from him.”
“I’m not sleepin’ with you and we’re definitely not gettin’ married, if that’s what you’re thinkin’. I don’t need your help.”
“Save your drama. I wouldn’t marry your ass if my life depended on it. At some point you’re goin’ to want someone to take responsibility for that child and I’m offering to be that person. The child will grow up right. For someone that’s so sure of what she wants, I think that my offer would put your mind at ease. You’ve known me for years, Ash. I’ll help you.”
“Why would you do something like that? I know you hate me.”
I was realizing just what I was signing on to. I hated myself for it, but out of panic I’d sealed my fate. “I might not like you, but I love my brother. I promised my dad that I’d look out for him that night and I didn’t. You may not understand, but this is the only way I can make sure he never finds out what Parker did.”
“You’d rather take the blame for sleepin’ with me? As close as you were to Ford, do you honestly think anyone would believe it?”
I laughed. “My father thinks I’m a fuckin’ loser. Of course, he will believe it. Besides, Ford isn’t speakin’ to me, so it makes perfect sense to assume that I fucked his woman and knocked her up.”
“What about your girlfriend?”
“We’re through. She wants nothin’ to do with me.”
“You really want to be a father to a child that ain’t even yours?”
“No. I’m not goin’ to lie to you. I don’t, at all, but I’m goin’ to do it because like it or not, that baby is my blood. I may not have knocked you up, but he or she is my family and I will take care of it, because it’s the right thing to do.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to promise that you’ll never go to Parker. If you need somethin’, you come to me. From now on, that baby is ours. The truth can never come out.”
She stared out at the barn for a few minutes, I guess to consider that she had no other options. “Fine. As long as the baby is loved, I don’t care if you want to be some hero. I’m not the one who has to live with themselves for the lie. You do. I never should have slept with your brother that night. I guess it doesn’t matter who the father is now, since it won’t ever be Ford.”
“Yeah, I know that upsets you. Look Ash, I’m not goin’ to lie and tell you that I’m goin’ to be great at this, but I will make sure the child wants for nothin’.”
“I hope you do, Shayne.”
When I got out of her car, I felt like I was going to puke. There wasn’t a bone in my body that wasn’t shaking. How could I have made such a serious decision without thinking it through? I’d just signed over my life to raise a child that wasn’t mine.
My entire future had changed in the blink of an eye. Having a child was going to change everything.
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley