Rhymes With Cupid by Anna Humphrey Read Free Book Online Page A

“homework assignment” turned out to be hand-lettering forty-five place cards using gold ink and a calligraphy pen. After an afternoon of extreme parallel parking followed by the near-crushing-death-of-my-mother-by-a-wardrobe, my hand wasn’t exactly steady, to say the least. I went through five different cards before I finally did one that was good enough to keep.
    “They’ve got the Bradford ballroom booked out for lunch, and they’re closing the entire spa for the afternoon,” my mom explained. “The whole thing is being catered by Chez Pierre, and they’re giving away all kinds of raffle prizes.” She stacked another neatly lettered card onto her pile. “I still miss Chudleigh’s Auto Insurance, but I have to say, they never had staff appreciation days like this.”
    I took a bite of my Hawaiian slice and washed it down with some iced tea while I watched my mother work. The bags under her eyes were huge and dark, but besides that, she looked good. She’d been waking up at six A.M. the past two days so she’d have time to blow-dry her hair and do her makeup. Apparently one of the requirements of working reception at a spa was to look put-together. She even had pink polish on her nails—something I’d never seen her wear before. She noticed me noticing it. “Oh, Claire—one of the aestheticians—did this for me at break. It doesn’t look too glitzy, does it?”
    I smiled, putting down my pizza crust. “It’s nice,” I said. I wiped my hands on my napkin and picked up another place card to letter. “Seriously?” I looked down at the list of names my mom had given me. “This is somebody’s real name?” My mother finished clearing the plates, then peered over my shoulder.
    “Oh. Valter. He’s the spa’s Swedish masseuse.”
    “And his last name’s Bigaskis?”
    “Yes.”
    “Pronounced ‘big-ass-kiss’?” I asked, enunciating the word in my best imitation of a Swedish accent. “Like, ‘Val-ter Big-ass-kiss’?”
    “Elyse,” my mother scolded in the same tone she used to use when I’d pick my nose or make farting sounds with my male cousins as a kid. “That’s not funny.”
    “Yes it is,” I said. “Kind of, at least. You’ve got to admit.” But my mother didn’t look like she was about to admit anything. “Val-ter Big-ass-kiss,” I said again, giggling a little to myself as I lettered the place card. My mom hadn’t cracked a smile, so I tried to stop laughing.
    “Oh.” She sat down and picked up another place card, changing the subject. “Dina called for you earlier. I guess she didn’t realize you had a driving lesson. She was wondering if she could confirm you for the chocolate-vanilla cheesecake. Sounds like a fun party.”
    I groaned. It had been a long day. The last thing I wanted to think about was Valentine’s Day, or Dina’s ridiculous party, but now that Dina had told my mother all about it, I knew there was no way out—I’d be going.
    “I told her no problem. I’ll help you bake it if you want. We still have your stuffed panda bear collection, too. I packed them in one of those filing boxes for the move. It’s somewhere in the basement. I said we’d see if we could dig them up. They’d make great decorations.”
    “Mom!” I cried. It was bad enough that I was being forced to party on Valentine’s Day when all I wanted to do was mope. I didn’t want to drag along a bunch of stupid childhood stuffed animals.
    “You’ll have fun, Elyse. It’s good that you’re going out.” I sighed. “And it’s two weeks from today, too. You know what that means, don’t you?” I gave her a blank look. “You’ll have passed your road test by then. You can drive to Dina’s yourself.”
    I dropped Valter Bigaskis’s finished name card into my pile and reached for another. Drew Hulse . Nothing funny about that one. In fact, it was one of the most depressing names I’d ever heard, which was fitting, because I was suddenly feeling gloomy—not to mention