Rising Tides by Maria Rachel Hooley Read Free Book Online Page A

be drinking that, considering your medication?” he asked in a quiet voice.  His hand touched my leg again, the fingers holding about as much passion as if I my leg had been a rolled-up newspaper.
     I lied, smiling pleasantly.  “I’ll be fine.”   I felt his fingers squeeze, reminding me to set the glass down.  The forced upturn of my lips flattened to a line and I continued holding the glass and took another sip.
    Gary softly sighed, and again his hand dropped away.  A waiter appeared and took our orders, saving the three of us from small conversation.   Once he’d disappeared, Gary said, “Kelly, I’ve got something I wanted to give you.”  He looked at me and held out a grey velvet box.  I stared at it, and chills trickled down my arms.  Had I never witnessed my husband kissing Debra, I might have believed him to be all the things I had wanted.  I might have believed this little dinner was  an act of charity.  I might have even believed this little box held some small image of a love for me that was too limitless to express.  Instead, I recognized guilt and pity.  It had come wrapped in little boxes often enough these past few months.
    I smiled and fumbled as I picked it up, feeling the prick of tears burning my eyes.  A stranger might have said I’d been so touched by this act, but I felt weighted down by the small diamond and pearl earrings when I opened the box.  Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear my throat of the enormous lump.  Another gift.  Different jewelry, same guilt.  “They’re beautiful.”
    Gary leaned over and kissed my cheek as he whispered, “So are you, love.”  He reached across the table and grasped my hand, squeezing softly.
    “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” Debra said, looking down at her watch.  “After all, they last forever.”  She stood and brushed the wrinkles from her dress.   “Excuse me.”  She walked away.
    Gary looked away from me, toward Debra’s back.  His lips tightened into a sharp frown, and I recognized the blatant anger she had aroused.  I half-expected him to follow her exit cue, but he remained sitting beside me.  Gary peered at my lobes and said, “Well, I’m in luck.  You’re not wearing any.  Put them on.”  I started to protest, but his fingers had freed them from the velvet lining before I could say anything.  He dropped them into my hand.
    With trembling fingers, I put them on.  I felt the pearls and thought of the ocean and then of the tumors.  Salt water pooled in my eyes and streamed down my face, despite the awful blinking.
    Gary reached up and lightly wiped away the tears.  “Looks like you’re leaking, babe.”  He leaned toward me and brushed his lips across my cheek.  “I love you,” he whispered.
    I cleared my throat, which allowed me to avoid a like response.  My fingers curled into fists, and the tightening in my chest began to hurt.  Once it would’ve been enough to know that he loved me.  Once it would’ve pulled me through anything, it would have made me feel safe.  But I had lost once. 
    “You’re so quiet.  Are you feeling all right?” he asked, leaning back enough so that he could see my face.  He was trying to read the lines and shadows as thought they were part of a new language he hadn’t studied.  Yeah, I thought.  They’re ruins.
    “I’m fine,” I replied.  “Just a little tired.
    Gary nodded and relaxed against the back of his chair as the waiter brought our food.  I looked at the shrimp and baked potato and felt nauseated.  My stomach lurched.  I also peered at the salad and quickly decided that was a much safer bet.  I picked up my fork and took a bite of lettuce, then cut up the steak and pushed the potato around a bit just to make it appear I had actually eaten some.  The illusion must have worked because by the end of the meal Gary, who always noticed a full plate, said nothing about my lack of appetite.
    Debra returned and sat down without