loudly, violently, in a tangle of limbs and arms and sweat. It’s all overpowering, and we are still for several minutes, waiting for our breath to slow down.
The back of the limo is in disarray, with clothing strewn all over, as the lights of Dallas greet us. In a panic I flip down a mirror and assess the damage. Miss Norris used almost a whole can of hair spray, thank God, so every strand is intact. My face is flushed and a little sweaty, but most of my makeup rubbed off on Jace.
Laughing, I find tissues and wipe him off. Then I pat the sweat away on my own face, and reapply the red lipstick tucked into my evening bag. We don’t look disheveled, just slightly overexcited. It will have to do.
As we finally pull up to the curb of the benefit, Jace smacks my ass as I exit the limo. More color floods to my cheeks, but I can only take his arm as the cameras begin to flash. I look at Jace, to see how he handles the attention, and he could have been born a celebrity. His smile is controlled but pleasing—not too much teeth showing, head slightly cocked to outline his jaw, eyes sparkling. This is the world I ran from and he seems made for it.
As we mingle inside, he only proves how well he fits this lifestyle. He knows everyone’s name and they all seem to know him, and more importantly, they like him. Shaking hands, kissing cheeks, he does it all. Having him here definitely takes any pressure off me to be charming.
At dinner, Jace is attentive, and he sneaks a hand under the table to squeeze my thigh. His fingers trail between my legs, and although I am aching, my body still responds. I have to swat his hand away before I moan aloud, and he turns his attention back toward the food, smiling to himself as he eats.
It’s the average benefit—good food, stuffy conversation, speeches and then dancing, but it’s all bearable with Jace. Almost fun, even. I try to picture Chip in a suit, listening to the bland conversation, eating fancy food and dancing. I can’t get past trying to imagine Chip in a suit for the whole evening. The one time I saw him in a suit he made it about an hour before leaving the festivities. He was sitting by the barn when I went outside, in a t-shirt and jeans, drinking a beer.
The thought makes me smile, but when Jace asks me what I’m thinking, I just let him know I’m having a great time. He disappears for a while, but returns saying he was held up by an old friend. I’m ready to leave, so we head to the limo. He seems subdued, and I am tired, too, so when he wraps an arm around me, I lean in and we both sleep for the ride.
Back at the ranch, the stars are out. You can never see them in Dallas with all of the buildings and streetlights, but out here the sky is encrusted. With a quick peck on the cheek, Jace says goodnight, and I see some of the cowboys outside. Chip is with them, watching us, so I wave before heading into the house.
Tomorrow is my father’s funeral. I have to talk to myself, as though I’m explaining it to a stranger. We had a strained relationship, punctuated with long silences, the longest of which has been the past five years. Still, being parent-less makes you strangely emotional.
Tears and Tapenade
Miss Norris has been thoughtful enough to provide an alternate outfit for the funeral, and arranged the food for after. A simple black sheath dress, with low black espadrilles means that I won’t overheat at the graveside service.
Chip is speaking about my father, after the reverend. For the second time in my life, I see him in a suit and tie. He must be sweltering, but for the entire service he doesn’t fidget. He is still fully dressed when he enters the ranch