Rough Drafts by J. A. Armstrong Read Free Book Online

her,” Jonah said.
    “Oh,
I wish that were true,” Jameson shook her head. “We all fall short sometimes,
Jonah. Or, at least we think we do. You feel like you screwed something up so
you think your mom sees it that way. I know what that feels like. I also know
your mom. She’s worried about you. But then, she worries about you three all
the time,” she chuckled. “I don’t think she’s disappointed. Surprised, maybe.
Disappointed, no.”
    Jonah
looked at Jameson seriously. “What about you?”
    “Me?”
    “Yeah.
Geez, J.D., you are a lot to live up to.”
    Jameson
was taken aback. “Jonah, why would you even worry about that?”
    “I
don’t know,” he sighed. “Forget it.”
    “Jonah?”
    “Look,
J.D….Marianne has this great relationship with our dad. Me and Shell? It just was never that way, you know? Jessica
was…well, I don’t know. She was okay, but she was never around. Neither was
he.”
    Jameson
listened intently. It surprised her how Candace’s grown children could seem so
young at certain moments, as if she were
thirty years their elder. And then, in other moments act as if she were their
peer. “I don’t,” Jameson began to speak.
    “You
are always there,” he said.
    Jameson
felt herself becoming emotional. She had cultivated what she thought was a
healthy relationship with all of Candace’s children. Admittedly, she was the
closest to Michelle. Some of that was proximity. Some of it was personality.
When she stopped to think, Jonah had taken to calling her out of the blue in
the last year. She began to run some of those conversations through her mind.
“Jonah?” she began. “When you called me last week…”
    “Yeah,
I had just found out,” he said. “I wanted to tell you, but I chickened out.”
    “You
could have.”
    “I
know,” he said. “That’s what I mean, J.D. I didn’t even think about calling
Dad. I wanted to tell Mom, but…”
    “You
thought she’d freak out.”
    “No,
not really. I knew she wouldn’t yell or anything. I just didn’t want to see her
look at me like she did that time I got caught with the matches.”
    “The
what?”
    “I
was seven, I think,” Jonah said. “I found these firecrackers in the barn. I
knew that Pearl had matches in the cupboard over the stove. She thought it was
a secret.”
    “Oh,
no.”
    “Yeah,
Mom caught me out behind the barn trying to light them. At first, she just seemed
so mad,” Jonah recalled. “When she sat me down, she just looked so disappointed
in me.”
    Jameson
smiled. “She was scared.”
    “What?
She was pissed.”
    “Because
she was scared,” Jameson said. “Jonah, your mom…Well, I shouldn’t tell you
this. She probably should.”
    “Tell
me what?”
    “Let’s
just say that she loves you in a way I’m not sure you will ever understand. She
worries about you the most, I think.”
    “Because
I am the youngest.”
    “Because
you are her miracle,” Jameson said. “Her words, not mine,” she clarified. Jonah
swallowed hard. “You would have a rough time disappointing her, and that is the
only way you could ever disappoint me. Not that I get why you would even worry
about that.”
    “You’re
like my other mom,” he said. Jameson’s eyes grew wide. “Okay, so maybe it’s
weird. It’s still true.”
    “Jonah…”
    “Look,
it’s weird for me too,” he confessed. “You’re always there,” Jonah said. “It’s
just different. Maybe I’m not saying it right.”
    Jameson
smiled. “For a man of few words, you’ve said a lot,” she joked. “And, for the
record, I will always be here for you.”
    Jonah
nodded. “Thanks.”
    “Yeah.
I am a little pissed at you, though,” she
said. Jonah went pale and Jameson laughed. “I’m thirty-seven. I should not be
having all these grandchildren. Just promise me I can still be J.D. One Nana in
the family is enough.”
    Jonah
laughed. “Deal.”
    “Good.
Grab some of that wood, Daddy,” she smirked. “Might as well get used