Sappho's Leap by Erica Jong Read Free Book Online Page B

outwit them all if I was so afraid to write to Alcaeus?
    Having equipped me with two houses, slaves, litters of gold, looms, Cercylas went about his business growing richer. Because of my dowry, he now had Lesbian wine to trade with as well as his ships. He and my grandfather had made a good business putting the family’s wine business together with Cercylas’ ships. Thanks to me! Sold off in marriage to an old sot so all could prosper! Woman’s fate! My hunch was that Pittacus was getting rich on my fate as well.
Say what you will—
    Gold is the child of Zeus.
    Neither worms nor moths eat gold.
    It is much stronger
    Than the heart
    Of a man.
    I was to learn early that men can agree on very little but using women to cement their alliances and enrich themselves. Or using them as they used Helen—as excuses to fight wars.
    If I had judged by my wedding night that I would never be bothered by my husband, I judged wrong. Usually he was too soaked in wine to bother me at night and I happily departed for my own quarters. But some mornings, he awakened in a fit of passion and came after me. Usually I got away, but on one occasion he almost managed to make love to me.
    He smelled of fish and onions—and his breath was sour from the wine of the night before. He groped between my legs, pawed my breasts, and released his white force before he had a chance to enter me. Given the wobbly condition of his equipment, it was unlikely the marriage would ever be consummated—not that I cared.
    Praxinoa had been restored to me before my departure for Syracuse and she had almost forgiven me for the troubles I’d caused her. When I discovered I was pregnant, she tried to forgive me entirely.
    â€œA baby! What fun we’ll have with your baby, Sappho.”
    â€œAlmost as much fun as I had making it with Alcaeus!”
    â€œ Alcaeus !” Prax exclaimed.
    â€œSurely you don’t think that old sot Cercylas was—or is—capable.”
    â€œBut what will he think?”
    â€œCercylas is usually so drunk that he hardly remembers the night before. I’m sure he’ll be happy to take credit for any child I may bear.” I said this with great bravado, but I had my own misgivings. I needn’t have. It was true that Cercylas never remembered anything in the morning.
    â€œWhat a great lover you are!” I had said on several mornings, and he seemed to believe me. Was it possible men were so easy to fool? I asked Prax about this.
    â€œAm I crazy, Prax, or can any husband be fooled with flattery?”
    â€œYou’re not crazy. They believe what they want to believe and they hear what they want to hear. I know; after all, a slave is privy to everything. And I’ve learned the self-delusion of husbands is extraordinary.”
    â€œI love you, Prax,” I said.
    â€œI know you do. But your love is careless.”
    â€œThen you still have not forgiven me.”
    â€œI know you mean well,” Praxinoa said, “but you forget that we are not the same. You get away with things I never could chance.”
    I looked at the angry red brand on Praxinoa’s forehead and I knew she was right. Praxinoa’s bouncy black curls were reduced to stubble on her skull. Her huge brown eyes were sad.
    â€œI brought you a wedding gift,” she said.
    â€œWhat is it, Prax? Tell me!”
    â€œSomething every wife needs.” From under her creamy linen chiton, she produced a cunningly made leather dildo, an olisbos three times the size of anything Cercylas had.
    â€œ The groom comes like Ares ,” she said, laughing. “We’ll use it together!” I said.
    â€œOnly you’ll be dreaming of beautiful Alcaeus,” Praxinoa said, “and I’ll be thinking only of you.”
    When we were girls, Praxinoa and I had discovered pleasure together and had shared it in total innocence. We explored each other like little kittens playing and grooming. Many