Save Johanna! by Francine Pascal Read Free Book Online Page A

down from just above the roof of the brownstone across the street. She liked the closeness of the heat; it made her feel loved. Especially today. The warmth of the sun and the anticipation of the special man she was going to meet made her clitoris pulsate, and she longed to slide her finger around inside herself. She was always happy when she masturbated. She did it often because it made her feel good and it was easy. Most things were so difficult she’d give up halfway through. Like school; that was much too hard. And then her family moved around so much that she was always missing all the important work, and finally, when they moved to Georgia and nobody got around to registering her, she was glad because by then she was more than two years behind the other twelve-year-olds and knew she could never catch up. From then on she stayed at home and tried to help her mother with her younger brothers and sisters, but that didn’t work so well either. Though she tried her hardest all the time, her mother, who had a quick temper and an even faster hand, was never satisfied. She had never seen her own father, and the father of the younger kids hardly ever came around. When she was fifteen, her mother moved the family to Brooklyn, and that was the last they ever saw of him.
    In Brooklyn they all lived with Uncle Fred, and he was even more impatient with her than her mother had been, calling her dummy and smacking her around whenever she made a mistake. She was always crying, but nobody seemed to care. Until she met Arnold. That happened about two weeks before her sixteenth birthday, and when he found out it was her birthday he bought her a beautiful soft green sweater. Then he took her to his house and he showed her how to make love, and it was the first time she could ever remember a grown-up person hugging her and loving her. She was happy when her mother made her leave home because she wanted to stay with Arnold forever. Then Arnold changed. He still made love to her often, but it was different. He hardly ever talked and almost never kissed her anymore. And then he started bringing home those other men, and when she got sullen and didn’t want to cooperate he began to talk to her like her mother and Uncle Fred, and she stopped liking him.
    Now Avrum Maheely was coming soon, and Anna said she would love him, and she trusted Anna.
    She waited almost an hour, and then she saw them walking down the street. With the sun directly behind them and the heat waves rising from the pavement, they were only blurred outlines, but Avrum’s was crowned with something very dark that seemed too full for ordinary hair. She was confused and a little frightened and kept her eyes fixed on him. Excitement replaced the confusion as he came closer and she could make out his face and see that it was indeed only hair and that he was looking directly at her. He walked straight to her and his eyes held her, and when he put his hands on her arms, she was conquered. He said very little to her, but it was as if he had always known her, and she felt trusting.
    Other people came to the shop to see him all day and into that night. There were long discussions. To Imogene, Avrum sounded like a priest, but his sermons had a rhythm like poetry and were filled with words and thoughts she couldn’t begin to understand. She sat as close to him as possible, and the sound of his voice comforted her. She stayed with him that night and they made love on the cot in the back of the shop, and when he went back upstate the next day, she went with him. Nothing was said; he never asked her to go; it was just understood that she would be with him from then on. And in the two years she had lived with him, her attachment had only deepened and gotten stronger. With Avrum, Imogene was complete.
    Now, in front of the mountain shack, Imogene could see that Avrum was angry, but it didn’t matter as long as he wasn’t angry at her, and from the pat he gave her on the cheek she knew he