Saving Grace by Jane Green Read Free Book Online Page A

I couldn’t figure her out. I couldn’t decide if she was this quiet librarian type or someone far more confident. So hard to read. Do you think we ought to try her out? She does sound perfect for the job. My God, Ted, she even cooks! Not to mention all the other things.’
    Ted shrugs, picking up the paper with the article he hadn’t finished reading on the way in. ‘Why not start by calling her references. If she is as good as you seem to think, we can always try her out for a month.’
    Grace turns to look out the window. Of course this is the sensible thing to do, yet letting anyone new into their life is frightening. Ellen was with them for years, and they trusted her implicitly. They never had to worry that they would suddenly open the
New York Post
to find some snippet of information, of gossip, that could only have come from someone on the inside.
    They have made their fair share of mistakes: the gardening company whose price tripled as soon as they discovered the Mrs Chapman who had spoken to them, had asked them to quote, was married to Ted Chapman.
    Grace wouldn’t be looking for anyone new unless it was absolutely necessary. It does rather seem that the gods have been looking out for them; that in Beth they have placed the perfect candidate right in their laps.
    She has all the right experience and is looking to live ten minutes away. Could anything be more perfect? More right?
    She will phone for the references tomorrow, and if everything works out, she will offer her the job.
    There is a part of Grace that feels instant relief at the prospect, as if she is finally able to exhale. The stress of trying to cope with everything herself has been more than she has been able to admit. What a relief, what a joy to be able to hand it over to someone as capable and confident as Beth.
    What a relief not to have to mother her husband; for her husband needs not just a wife, but someone to hold his hand, soothe his soul, keep him calm, and there is only so much Grace is able to do.

Six
     
    T heir lovemaking was never filled with huge passion. Tried and tested, less passionate than well worn, it had been satisfying, comfortable. Often it was quick, routine. Often, they didn’t kiss. It felt perfunctory – Grace acquiescing to fulfill her marital obligation; Ted initiating, more because, it seemed to Grace, it was what he knew he was supposed to do rather than because there existed a great passion between them.
    There had been desire in the beginning, but age, exhaustion, their busy lives made that seem a very long time ago. For years it had been more duty than fun. For years Grace had prayed for the sound of Ted’s snoring long before she reached the final page.
    How different it was from what she expected as a young woman, convinced marriage was the beginning of a fairy tale. All those years ago she walked across a country field to an arbour strewn with flowers, her eyes sparkling with hope and love and daydreams. She had visions of a perfect life, of endless romance, of finally being able to breathe now that she had found her life partner.
    There was nothing that had prepared her for real life, for real marriage, for the ups and downs; the times when you look at your spouse with something that feels very much like hatred, only for it to pass into numbness, then circle back around into deep connection and love.
    This morning, Grace looks into Ted’s eyes and realizes she has once again come full circle. There are times when his ego, his demands, his moodiness, his temper are exhausting. There are times when it’s all too much, when she feels herself retreat to lick her wounds, leaving him in the care of Ellen, leaving him to his own devices, unable to deal with his criticism, the way he blames her.
    There are times when she finds him exhausting, exasperating. When her feelings for him run much closer to hatred than to love. But it doesn’t occur to her to leave. She made a vow, and the only thing of which she is