silence between us now. I was wishing I could do more, say the right things, but I knew from my own experience that it didn’t matter much what people said to you. The pain didn’t go away. After a while Lindsey’s cell phone beeped. She had a text.
She read it and then pounded back some message, with an angry look on her face.
“What?” I asked after she slammed the phone down on the table.
“They’re at a funeral home. They want me to get a cab and meet them there. I said no way.”
By midmorning she said she just wanted to go back to bed and sleep. “It would be better if you weren’t here when my parents get home.”
I didn’t ask why, but I didn’t want to complicate things. I kissed Lindsey on the forehead and held her hands. “Just let me know what I can do,” I said. “I’ll do anything to help.” And I meant it.
She didn’t answer her phone or return my calls again for two days. I talked to Darren for some advice.
“When people grieve, they tend to shut others out of their lives. Sounds like she had already shut her parents out. And that’s not good. But keep at it. Don’t give up.”
I’d been holding back, giving her space, but after that I figured I better do something. I went back to her house and rang the doorbell. Her mother answered.
“Can I see Lindsey?”
“She isn’t here. Who are you?”
“Josh. I’m a friend.”
“She never mentioned you.” I knew Lindsey didn’t communicate much of anything to her parents, so it didn’t surprise me that she hadn’t mentioned me.
“I know about Caleb,” I said. “I wanted to see if I can help.”
Lindsey’s mom looked me in the eye with suspicion, but then she looked down and let out a sigh. “You could help find Lindsey. We haven’t seen her since…” But she didn’t finish the sentence.
“She hasn’t been home?”
“No. We’re very worried.” Now Lindsey’s mom started to cry.
“I’ll find her,” I said. “I promise.” And I turned to go.
Lindsey’s mom grabbed my sleeve and pulled me back. “The funeral is tomorrow. It would be a terrible thing if she wasn’t there.”
“I’ll find her,” I repeated.
Chapter Fourteen
I walked downtown and went to the coffee shop where we had once sat. I asked the people working there if they’d seen her, but no one had. I wished I had a picture of her to show them, but I didn’t. The thought made me open my wallet and look at that old beat-up photo of my mom. I looked at it and silently asked her what to do. I could swear I heard her tell me to keep looking.
Lindsey was smart, and she was resourceful. And she was also stubborn. If she really wanted to make herself disappear, she would find a way to do it. But this wasn’t one of her scams. This was real life.
I walked the streets for hours. There were a lot of tourists out and about. Lindsey would have had a field day with this. Easy pickings. I went to the park. I went to the church hall where we had stolen the wedding cards. I talked to any kids our age that I saw. I came up with nothing.
I felt like all I could do was make the same rounds again. It seemed hopeless. Was she just going to disappear from my life as mysteriously as she had come into it? Damn . I was sitting on a crumbling low wall by the library when I looked up and realized I was across the street from the church where we had first sat together at my mother’s funeral.
It seemed like the least likely place to find her. But I was desperate. I walked across the street and tried the door. It was unlocked. I went in. The place was completely empty. At first I hated being there. The pain of it all. That stupid ceremony for my mom with all those strangers. But as I walked forward down the aisle, I looked up and saw light pouring in through the stained-glass windows. There was something about that light. Something that made me keep walking toward the front.
And then I saw her. Lying in a pew. Curled up in the fetal position.
I slipped into