now, we’ll get you back inside where it’s nice and warm.” And I opened my mouth to tell her, to let it go, but it hung there, choking me, and the moment was gone.
The world grew still again. My mind cleared and I tried to stand, but Rachel pushed me firmly back.
“Oh, Rachel,” I whispered, “I feel so silly—”
“Mercy, just listen to you,” Rachel tried to keep her tone light, but failed to hide the worry in her voice. “Here we are dragging you all over creation and back, and you go on apologizing…” Her arms tightened around me in a quick hug. “Now everything’s gonna be just fine, you hear? Here’s Seth, now don’t you fret—”
“No, Rachel, really, I can walk.” And I tried again to stand, to escape from those piercing dark eyes before they came back, but it was too late, they were there, between me and Death and the blue, blue sky, coming closer, so close now that I could look deep into their blackness and never touch bottom. “Please…” I said again, but my words were lost as Seth roughly swung me up into his arms and began walking back toward the house, Franny and Rachel hurrying along behind.
“Trouble,” Seth muttered, his eyes straight ahead. “I knew it.”
“I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble,” I began, then feeling sick, closed my eyes, opening them again to find him scowling at me. His shirt smelled of earth and leaves and wood smoke. “I don’t know what happened,” I finished lamely. “The scarecrow…”
He grunted something unintelligible, and in one effortless movement ducked through the back door and strode into the kitchen.
I was deposited roughly into a chair while Rachel rushed around making tea and Franny kept up a tireless chatter about how pleased Micah would be that his scarecrow had worked on something. Seth disappeared without a word. Rachel finally sent Franny off to fetch honey from the cellar, and for a brief while there was peace.
“You better now?” Rachel asked, working one hand beneath the bandage on my forehead. “You don’t feel feverish. That’s good.”
“Really, I don’t know what happened out there, but I feel fine now. Please don’t worry about me.”
Rachel’s palm rested on my cheek. “You could never be a bother.” She smiled. “Warm enough?”
After the fresh morning chill, the kitchen was beginning to feel uncomfortably stuffy. “Maybe a little too warm.” I fanned weakly at my face, glancing at the stove where Rachel was fixing me a late breakfast.
“Go sit out on the porch then. But just sit now, don’t go walking around and get to screaming again.”
She was so serious that I had to hide a smile. “No, I won’t.”
I made my way through the front hall without any more mishap, but my heart sank when I saw Seth out there on the porch, one boot propped on the railing, hands laced around a steaming cup of coffee. For an instant I considered turning back, but the floor creaked loudly underfoot and I knew he’d already heard me. Taking a deep breath I pushed open the screen and walked out. Seth kept staring out across the yard as if he were completely alone.
“It’s hot in there,” I ventured, feeling I needed to explain my unwanted presence. When he didn’t respond, I added, “Thank you again.”
Seth looked impassively toward the sky, up through the gnarled branches of an oak that clustered around the overhang of the porch.
Feeling foolish, I stammered, “I really feel so badly about all this—”
His eyes shifted. “I don’t have time to be stopping my work every few minutes just ’cause you can’t keep up. I’ve got a farm to run.”
“Please, I never wanted them to call you in the first place. The last thing I want to do is be a disruption. I…I know I don’t fit in—”
“You never will.” He took a sip of coffee, his lips lingering at the rim of the cup as he continued to watch me.
I glanced away, unsettled by his scrutiny. “I want very much to get home,” I said