Scars of the Heart by Joni Keever Read Free Book Online Page B

make the journey west may have originally been encouraged by the war that continued to creep closer and closer to our home, but the odyssey fulfilled a childhood dream. He sought adventure, prosperity, and a safe haven for all of us.”
    “I’m sure your father did what he thought best for his family. Isn’t that what fathers do?”
    Carly wasn’t sure, but she thought she detected a trace of satire in Kade’s voice. She focused on his question. “I think he’d grown insane. Once he entertained the idea of moving, he was driven. After his wound healed, he sold all our fine things, our beautiful home, even the family business. And for what? To raise smelly, stupid cows in the middle of the wilderness?”
    Her voice escalated as her fury returned. How she’d begged Papa not to take her away. She tried everything—tears, tantrums, even threats. She reminded him of the mounting war with the Indians, the savage massacres, the wagon train raids. The periodicals back home were full of stories, but nothing swayed the man. He reassured Carly the hostilities were farther north and President Lincoln would soon have the situation under control. Mother even took his side. She insisted Papa had their best interests at heart.
    “There’s nothing wrong with raising cattle. It’s an honorable profession. What happened? Where are your parents now?”
    Carly’s fury fizzled. Her shoulders slumped forward, and she replied in a dull, lifeless tone. “Dead. They’re both dead.”
    Neither of them spoke, and Kade seemed to be lost in heavy thoughts of his own.
    “I’m sorry,” he finally offered. “I shouldn’t have made you relive the past. Not if it’s painful.”
    “No, it’s all right.” Carly realized she hadn’t actually had a conversation with another human being in more than a week. Though she disliked the topic and detested the man, she found herself enjoying the interaction. “I might as well learn to accept facts and get on with my life. Crying won’t bring them back.”
    “What happened?” Kade asked carefully. “That is, if you want to talk about it.”
    “Momma took ill shortly after we joined up with the wagon train. It was just a little chest cold. She would’ve been fine, but the journey was so hard, so very long and hard. I begged Papa to take us home, but he refused. By the time we finally arrived and found the land Papa had purchased, Momma’s condition had worsened.” Carly stopped a moment, remembering her mother’s horrible cough and pale, gaunt features.
    “I thought I could make her better. She wouldn’t let us bring a doctor. I tried everything I knew, but she only grew worse. She died in my arms just ten days after we arrived.”
    Silence filled the morning air. With a deep breath, Carly added, “Papa and I buried her in her wedding dress, the one my grandmother Rose made. I hope that was all right. She never said . . . we never discussed her wishes.”
    “I’m sure that’s what she would’ve wanted.”
    Kade’s words rolled like faraway thunder, deep and soothing. Something within made Carly continue, like her recital was a cleansing of the soul. “I thought Papa would want to go back home after Momma died. He said he couldn’t. She was buried there, and that was our home. Only Papa had changed. He wasn’t the same. His passion for ranching was gone. He spent most of his time up on the hill by Momma’s grave, probably asking her forgiveness. If only he’d left well enough alone. If only we had stayed in Virginia.”
    Briefly, Carly wondered why the tears hadn’t come. Had she actually shed all she possessed or was the open wound on her heart turning to a thick, tough scar? “If only he’d been at the cabin with me.”
    Kade cleared his throat. “You don’t have to go on.”
    “No, I want to. I need to.” She took a deep breath. “I was trying to make biscuits one morning. Neither one of us knew how to cook. In Virginia, we had Betsy, but she refused to come with