Schism: Part One of Triad by Catherine Asaro Read Free Book Online Page B

rejected Lyshriol, but not him, Shannon, after all.
    Althor laid his cheek against the top of Shannon’s head. “You aren’t repulsive.”
    “Stay with me tonight.” It would heal so much.
    “Good gods, Shani.”
    What had he said wrong? “I would like to stay.”
    Althor let him go, gendy but firmly. “I don’t think tfiat would be wise.”
    Shannon closed his eyes. The loneliness saturated him.
     
    “Shani—” When Shannon opened his eyes, Althor spoke with tenderness, though he seemed to ache inside. “You won’t always be lonely. Someday you will love a woman, marry, have children.”
    Shannon wondered at Althor’s sadness. He felt it now. Loneliness also wrenched his brother, and Althor believed he would have to live with it for the rest of his life.
    “You will find someone, too,” Shannon said.
    “No. I won’t.” Althor seemed to wrestle with his answer. “I’ve tried to be what Father wants. I’ve taken women as lovers, tried to consider marriage. But it isn’t going to happen.”
    “Why not?”
    “It doesn’t matter.” He spoke quietly. “I am deeply sorry that it hurt you when I left. I never meant for you to feel rejected. But I have to do what is right.”
    “I won’t hurt you.”
    “Shannon—”
    “Listen.” He splayed his palm on Althor’s chest. “You’re going away tomorrow.
    I will only see you every few years, if that often. You are an empath like me.
    A Rhon empath. It tears me apart when you leave.” Softly he said, “Give me this night to remember you by.”
    Lines of strain creased Althor’s face. “I’m sorry. But no.”
    Shannon lowered his hand. “Why?”
    “Things might happen that—that shouldn’t.”
    “I don’t care.” Shannon’s feelings swirled. How could Althor love him but not love him? “Is it the tall woman who came with you?”
    “Colonel Tahota?”
    “Why is she here?”
    “She just told me an hour ago. Kurj has chosen his heirs.” Althor sounded stunned. In shock. “Soz. Me.”
    Kurj? Althor must mean their half brother. The Imperator. Shannon had little interest in offworid affairs. “Is that good, that he chose you and Soz?”
    “Yes. I think.” Doubts about his suitability for the title infused Althor’s mood.
     
    “You can do it.” Shannon had no doubt.
    “I hope so.”
    “But it changes nothing with us.”
    Althor brushed Shannon’s hair back from his face. “I can’t bend and blend my feelings the way you do.”
    Shannon had no idea what he meant. “I won’t try to make you stay here. It would be wrong for me to try.” He wished more than anything that Althor would, but he would no more try to force it man he would try to pull a moon out of the sky. Perhaps Althor believed his offer fickle or insincere. “I would neither ask nor wish such company from anyone else.”
    His brother’s face gentled. “I know.”
    “But you will not let me stay?”
     
    “I can’t.” Althor’s voice softened. “But know always that I love you, above and beyond all others. Will that be enough?”
    It wasn’t enough. But it seemed to be the most they could have. Shannon answered in a low voice. “Know it for me, too.”
    ‘Take care, my brother.”
    “I will.” He didn’t see how. Althor had rejected him in yet a new way. Shannon reeled inside. But he knew now that Althor did it for him, not as a rejection. He had also absorbed the truth; if he stayed tonight, it would hurt his brother, and the reason was because Althor did love him. In his own confusing way Althor would always act on his sense of honor. Shannon loved in too many ways for Althor, who needed to put what he felt into compartments.
    His brother couldn’t let his emotions run in a river while he went to wherever they would take him.
    “Do you want me to go?” Shannon asked.
    “No.” Althor’s voice caught. “But perhaps it is better that you do.”
    “Be well,” Shannon said softly.
    “And you.”
    After Shannon left, he returned to the stable and