had characterized Lila’s mother. She had the ability to make
Lila feel like little more than a child. It was easy to forget that there was
only four years difference in their ages.
“I didn’t lie about the baby,” Lila corrected herself sullenly.
“Logan is a doctor. I couldn’t very well lie to him, even if I wanted
to. Which I didn’t. Marriage was his idea, not mine.”
“I’m sure it was. Logan cares for you.” Susan frowned. “I am a
little puzzled as to why you felt you could tell him about your ... situation
and yet you couldn’t tell your brother and me the truth. Surely you know
Douglas would never have turned his back on you.”
“I know that.” Lila smoothed her fingers over a crease in her
dove-gray skirt. “I didn’t intend to tell Logan about... about my situation.” Ridiculous
that even now, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud! “I
didn’t intend to tell anyone.”
Susan’s pale brows rose. “You surely didn’t think you could keep
something like that a secret for very long. There are signs when a woman
is—”
“I’m not completely without sense, despite recent evidence to the
contrary.” Lila’s tone was more weary than angry. “I had decided to go away.
Someplace where no one knew me. I thought I could say I was a widow, perhaps
find a job teaching. You needn’t look at me as if doubting my sanity,” she said
in answer to the look in Susan’s eyes. “I know it was a ridiculous idea. But it
was the only thing I could think of. Obviously, I couldn’t stay here in Beaton.
I was trying to avoid a scandal.” Her mouth twisted with bitter humor.
“Did you go to Logan for help with this idea of moving away? Is
that how he found out?”
“Logan came by to see Douglas shortly after I’d realized that I
was ... that I had to do something. The two of you were in Philadelphia that
week, and I’d had nothing to do but think of the situation in which I’d found
myself. Poor Logan made the mistake of asking if I was feeling all right, and I
burst into tears.”
She’d never forget Logan’s shocked expression. But he rallied
immediately, drawing her into his arms and holding her as she cried. He didn’t
speak until the initial flood of tears had started to subside.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said quietly. And Lila, who had already
determined that she could never, ever tell anyone what was wrong, found the
truth spilling out. Not the whole truth, certainly. She’d refused to tell him
who had fathered her child. And when he’d assumed she’d been forced, she’d been
too weak to correct him. It hadn’t seemed to matter at the time.
It had been such a relief to be able to talk to someone about it.
Maybe it was the fact that Logan was a doctor that made it possible for her to
tell him. Or maybe it was that, while he was nearly a brother to her, he wasn’t
actually her brother. Whatever the reason, she’d outlined her half-formed plans
for moving away and seeking employment.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he’d snapped and Lila’s eyes welled.
“But I have to do something. The scandal... I can’t... I have to
leave.”
“There’s not going to be any scandal.” Logan caught her restless
hands in his. “And you don’t have to go away, at least not for very long.
You’re going to marry me.”
Lila felt her eyes sting at the memory of his unselfishness. She’d
argued with him. She couldn’t let him sacrifice his life. There had to be
another way. But there hadn’t been another way, short of throwing herself in
the river, and she was not quite ready for that. Logan’s calm determination had
overwhelmed every one of her protests. And maybe she hadn’t protested quite as
much as she might have, Lila admitted now. She’d wanted so desperately to be
convinced that this was the right thing to do.
“I care for Logan,” she told Susan now. “That’s more than some
marriages start out with. If you hadn’t interfered, we would have been