Searching for Tina Turner by Jacqueline E. Luckett Read Free Book Online Page A

that she has plenty to fill her schedule; it’s the hole
     in her spirit she needs to fill. “I’m serious. I’ll do whatever I have to, but I won’t be able to make the second class either.
     Can you give me your notes and the assignment so that I can keep up?”
    “My policy’s simple: skip one class, you’re okay. Skip class twice, you gotta problem.” He presses on with more terse words
     about dedication and continuity that Lena tunes out. “It’s up to you, but the more you miss, the more behind you get.”
    The phone clicks off before she can tell him anything more. Sinking back into the bed, Lena lets sleep take over. Snakes and
     water. A man’s hand beckons her into a gently breaking black surf, and she slips below. Her fishlike mouth opens to swallow
     people-plankton drifting by: Randall entwined in a headless woman’s arms, a baby Kendrick morphing into a man, Camille crowned
     with stars, Candace’s hand covered with pinky rings. Lena twirls, the reverse of falling into the sucking liquid, yet able
     to watch herself, hair swirling in slow motion, shrunk to its beloved nap. Diamond earrings glimmer in shrinking lobes, vibrant
     red fingernails. Wedding bands float past like dazzling schools of fish.
    Beside an open coffin Tina Turner wears a zoot suit. Lena belches bubbles full of a merry Randall, Kendrick, and Camille.
     Each bubble rises past schools of silver fish, past coral and seaweed and thrusts her up, up, up. Lena rises to the surface,
     naked before God’s bluest sky and Tina Turner’s outstretched arms.
    The sheets are soaked when Lena awakens. The room is neither hot nor cold, yet she shivers as if it is the middle of winter
     and tries to understand her dream. Listen to Tina. Be the good girl—a girl at fifty-four. Follow the rules. Consider the blessings.
     Randall wants a party. He’s tired. What’s a little attitude in exchange for the life he has given her? And she has more than
     enough: this house, clothes, no worries, and diamonds on her fingers, neck, and ears.
    The pictures, the memories spill from the planner when Lena picks it up. How innocent Kendrick looked in his Halloween costume,
     his first one. He was a puppy. When Lena explained that animals didn’t make good costumes, he looked at her with a serious
     face and insisted. Camille liked ballet, liked dressing up and being the center of attention. She posed for hours in the mirror
     practicing pirouettes and pliés.
    The account withdrawal slip is thin and narrow. Randall and Lena’s full names are imprinted in block letters in the upper
     left-hand corner. On the photography enrollment paperwork her name is written in the same way and, looking from one piece
     of paper to the other, it seems odd to see hers by itself. Taking the two pieces of paper in her hands, Lena tears and tears
     until they blend into an unrecognizable heap atop the sheets.

Chapter 5
    T en after eight. Step fast, faster. Randall hates waiting, especially after a long trip. This afternoon Lena cleaned the house
     from top to bottom, right alongside the housekeeper. She cancelled Randall’s car service and decided to pick him up like she
     did when his business trips first began to take him around the world. The Drambuie is back in the liquor cabinet; fresh linens
     envelop the bed. Run, Lena, run. Past people speaking in French, Spanish, and a myriad of Asian languages all intoned with
     joyous inflections that need no translation. Past a smattering of kohl-eyed Indian women swathed in silk saris, Filipino men
     in embroidered linen barong shirts, and Asian businessmen in conservative sharkskin suits.
    Run, Lena, run. Passengers exit customs through two cordoned-off hallways. TV monitors flash weary and preoccupied faces to
     watchful loved ones and chauffeurs with handwritten signs. Randall’s image crosses the screen. His trademark heavy-heeled
     gait is slow. Lena giggles; a surprise to herself and the man next to her.
    Nearly