Second Chances by Abbie Williams Read Free Book Online Page A

away. He said, “Tell Ellen first, for sure. She’ll help make your mom understand.”
    â€œWhat about your parents?” I’d worried. They were both pretty uptight for having such a wild only child.
    â€œWe’ll tell them. It’ll be okay, Jo,” he’d said back then. And I’d believed him.
    Our wedding was just a month and a half later, after our high school graduation, and I’d been too ill with morning sickness to do any real celebrating. Mom had been furious with me (though she hid that fact in front of anyone), Jilly heartbroken, Gran, Great-Aunt Minnie (who’d still been around in those days dishing out both fried fish and heaps of advice) and Aunt Ellen resigned. Gran had attempted on two occasions to talk me out of marrying Jackie. They were all sick at the idea of me moving all the way to Chicago, but at the time it had made sense; Jackson was already accepted into college and I could stay home with the baby. Which I did, and then again, and finally for a third time.
    â€œDammit, Jackson,” I murmured now, blinking behind my huge sunglasses into the bright sun of an Iowa morning, over 18 years later. Why hadn’t I listened to my gran? But that was a pointless question, and besides, without having moved to Chicago I wouldn’t have had either Tish or Ruthann, the lights of my life. My trio of girls was the best thing I’d ever put out into the world, and in any case, I’d always have wondered about Jackson had he gone off to college and left me behind. Better to have experienced the failure than be constantly second-guessing.
    I need a smoke , I thought, groping for my purse to find the pack Jilly had stashed there for me. I extracted one and then used the same hand to push in the car lighter. After this trip, no more. Totally done smoking .
    I drove for another hour before pulling into a Standard station to refuel. Again I spent a moment marveling at this trip I was making, alone. Five years ago I wouldn’t have considered such a thing. Even six months ago. But Jackson had been right when he’d noticed how I had changed this summer. I had found myself again, picking up the scraps that had scattered all apart during the past difficult years, reemerging as the Joelle I used to know, the one who’d been tucked deep in my heart. But stronger now, and wiser. This time understanding what love was all about. I rolled my eyes at myself and then couldn’t help but hum the Madonna song with the same phrasing. But it was true…and I had to act on that love or else I would never know what might have been. And that was a what if I refused to live with.
    Blythe, Blythe, just wait. I was so wrong to drive you away. Please be glad I’m coming for you, please don’t think you’re not worth it. My sweet man, you’re so worth it, so worth everything.
    Fifteen hours of driving was what we’d estimated. I would be coming up on Missouri by early afternoon, and intended to be in Brandt, Oklahoma, Blythe’s hometown, by about 10:00 this evening. By 7:00 I was roughly 50 miles from the Oklahoma state line, and my nervous energy had about put me over the edge. My entire pack of smokes was gone, my hands were on a slight tremble, and I made a sudden decision to stay the night in Wichita. It was vanity more than anything that motivated it; I couldn’t bear to confront Blythe reeking of cigarettes and with shadows under my eyes. What’s more, he didn’t even know I was on the way.
    In a small, tidy room at a Comfort Inn I stood under a jet of just-shy-of-scalding water, bracing my hands on the shower tiles and letting the anxiety seep down the drain along with the travel dust. Afterward I coated myself with peach-scented lotion, trying not to think about how much Blythe loved the scent on my skin, snuggled into my robe and twisted my hair into a single clip on the back of my head. Slightly calmer now, I carried my cell phone