Second Thoughts by Jade Winters Read Free Book Online Page A

forth, all the while kissing her hot wet tears,
    Sara flung her arms around her and pulled her closer. “I’m leaving.” The words came out jaggered and distorted.
    Melissa tried to pull away but Sara tightened her grip. She relaxed in her arms, stroking back her hair. “What do you mean you’re leaving? Leaving where? Uni? But you’re so close to graduating.” She spoke in a soft tone.
    “I mean after I graduate,” she said in a barely audible whisper.
    Melissa laughed. “Well of course you are silly. We both are.”
    Sara released her grip, rolled over to the edge of the bed and sat up, holding her head in her hands. “I’ve been offered a PhD in America and I’ve accepted.”
    “In America?” Melissa asked startled. “Without talking to me first?”
    Sara ran her hand wearily over her face, twisting her head around to face her. “I’m sorry, but it’s a chance of a lifetime. I really want it.”
    “More than me?” she asked incredulously.
    “Come on, Missy, you know it’s not that simple. This is my life I’m talking about here.”
    “One I thought I was a big part of.”
    Sara turned, crawled onto the bed and kneeled in front of her, her face tear-stained and blotchy. “You know you are. I love you more than anything in the world. But I’m never going to get another chance like this again. It’s a great university.” She took Melissa’s hands in her own. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”
    Feeling like she’d been kicked in the stomach, Melissa pulled her hands back and slid off the bed. Was she caught up in some sort of nightmare? Was Sara really telling her that she was leaving her – for a job in the States? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. What about their plans for the future? She was meant to be taking Sara home to meet her parents for the first time. She was finally going to tell them she was gay. Sara knew all this, so how could she so carelessly stamp down on their dreams? She slipped into her jeans and roughly pulled her t-shirt over her head.
    “Are you serious? Make it harder...” Melissa shook her head decisively. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
    “I said I’m sorry. Look we can still hold it together. I can come back for holidays and you can…”
    Melissa’s heart was pounding so furiously she could barely breathe. “Sara, what about us travelling for a year together? All of our plans thrown away just like that?”
    “What do you want me to do, Missy? Sacrifice something I’ve worked my arse off for?” She stopped abruptly.
    Melissa’s jaw clenched as she threw her hands up in the air. “Go on say it, for what, for me? For someone who is as disposable as a bag of rubbish?”
    “You’re putting words into my mouth now. You know I didn’t mean it like that. You’re my world.”
    Melissa grimaced. “Yeah of course I am. Do you know what? Do what the fuck you need to do, but please leave out the romancing of this situation like we’re two star-crossed lovers in a tacky romance.”
    Sara shook her head slightly. “If this was something you wanted I would never stand in your way.”
    Melissa stared at her wide-eyed. “That’s because I’d never put you in this position. I would only want something that works for both of us.”
    “So you think I’m being selfish, is that it?” Sara gasped indignantly.
    Though she wanted to scream, Melissa kept her voice level. “No, Sara. I just think you’re being you. I’m not going to stand in your way.” She tugged open a drawer, grabbed a handful of clothes and stuffed them into a duffel bag.
    “Can you just sit down and let’s discuss this like two adults.”
    “Oh because that was a real mature thing to do wasn’t it? Make the biggest decision of your life without consulting me first. Forget it Sara, I’m leaving.”
    “What! Where are you going?”
    Melissa snorted. “Oh quit pretending you give a fuck.”
    Sara’s voice was faint. “I really didn’t want it to end