Seduced by Power by Alex Lux Read Free Book Online Page A

backed out of the room, watching me like I was a dangerous animal that needed to be put down.
    In the silence, the weight of what I'd just done settled on me.
    Shaking, crying fresh tears when I thought I had no more to cry, I realized how truly evil I'd become. I could now hurt people without even touching them.
    No one would ever be safe around me again.

N INE
     
The Firstlings of My Heart
     
B LAKE
     

     
     
    from this moment
    The very firstlings of my heart shall be
    The firstlings of my hand
    — William Shakespeare, Macbeth
     
     
    HUMANS HAVE GREAT capacity for love, which also gives them great capacity for suffering. I thought I'd known suffering in the demon dimensions, but I couldn't really understand what it meant to hurt until I discovered what it meant to love.
    As I sat and watched Rose sleep, her body contorted in pain and face a mask of misery, I knew both love and suffering in equal measure, and I cursed the human form that gave me this breadth of experience.
    She woke with a start, her eyes swollen from tears and skin pale. Blood seeped through the bandages on her leg, likely from self-inflicted abuse while she slept. It seemed she wouldn't allow herself a moment's peace, not even while unconscious.
    When her eyes landed on me, she pressed herself against the headboard of her bed as if trying to disappear. "You have to leave before I hurt you, too."
    Her voice sounded unused and rough.
    I poured a cup of water and sat on the bed next to her. "Drink this. You need it. You can't hurt me, Rose. We're the same."
    She accepted the cup with slow, halting movements and sipped it once before setting it down.
    I embraced her before she could protest and breathed with her until her body slumped into mine at last.
    Rubbing her back, I offered what little consolation I could find. "I'm here. It's okay. You're not alone."
    "I killed them both, Blake. And it's getting worse. I hurt Tammy." She looked up, tears in her eyes. "Is she okay? Did I…"
    "She's fine. They're all downstairs talking with Father Patrick and Drake." They had been the ones to petition on my behalf to let me into Rose's room, knowing I might be the only one to break through to her. And the only one she couldn't hurt.
    "I have to leave, get out of here before it happens again. I've brought them nothing but grief since I came into their lives." She choked back a sob. "They must all hate me."
    With my finger, I tilted her chin up so she'd make eye contact with me. "No one hates you. How could they? You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, Rose Wintersong. If you could only see you the way I see you, you'd never say another harsh word about yourself." From my pocket, I pulled out the charm necklace I gave her before she ran off with Derek. "Here, this is yours. Please keep it. It was meant to be a memory keeper of your love for Sandy."
    She plucked the silver locket from my hand and opened it, covering her mouth as more sobs shook her. "I miss her so much. I couldn't hurt her, and she never judged me or abandoned me. She died saving Derek's life."
    I wondered if she could see me as someone different than the Blake who had set fire to the cabin. The fire that had taken Sandy's life.
    As if reading my mind, she stroked my hand. "It wasn't you. He isn't you. You may have his body, but you're your own person. You get to make your own choices in life."
    My throat clogged with unshed tears.
    She clutched the locket in her hand, then slipped it over her head. "She died trying to save him. She was braver than me."
    I poured her more water, sensing a shift in moods. "What do you want to do now?"
    This time she drank the whole glass and accepted a bowl of grapes someone had left for her, eating each one as if it were an entire meal. "I have to save them. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't."
    I sensed the truth in her words. She didn't mean it as a metaphor or cliché. Looking at the seeping wound on her leg, I knew that she meant it