Seducing Jordan: A Second Chances Novella by Andrea Dalling Read Free Book Online Page A

any other way.
    He gasped for breath, his chest so tight he could scarcely force his lungs to expand. Bare feet pattered against the floorboards. The bed springs squeaked, and Rick’s arms encompassed him.
    “Shh, Jordy, don’t cry. I’m a fucking idiot. You’re tearing my heart out.”
    Rage shot through him, restoring his senses. “Get away from me, asshole.”
    Rick pulled back. “I was trying to do the right thing. If I acted like I didn’t care for you, it would be easier for you to forget me.”
    He sat up and whacked him with a pillow. “You’re a shithead.”
    Rick nodded. In the early morning sun, tears glistened on his cheek.
    That vulnerable expression struck him in the gut. The last time he’d seen Rick cry was in second grade, when a fourth grader knocked him down on the playground. Even their freshman year, when Rick broke his nose in a baseball game, he didn’t cry.
    “This weekend was a mistake,” Rick said. “I brought you here to satisfy my curiosity, and I didn’t think how it would affect you. Last night I was going on about how I love you and would never hurt you, but that’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve been so selfish.”
    “Still a shithead.”
    “I’m not denying it. I screwed up. I’ve never been able to see beyond my own happiness. What you said about me making Cyn unhappy…it’s true. She’s spent three years trying to be a good girlfriend, and what do I do? I pressure her to go down on me, when I won’t return the favor. Just like I’ve been doing with you.”
    He clutched his temples. Rick had the emotional intelligence of a twelve-year-old, but he was sweet and loyal and the best friend Jordan had ever had. Despite his anger, he hated seeing Rick in pain. “You haven’t pressured me to do anything. I made a choice.”
    Rick wiped his tears away. “I don’t know why Cyn put up with me for so long. Things have been falling apart between us since last summer. I destroy everything I touch, Jordy, just like I’m destroying us now.”
    When the fuck did Rick turn into a drama queen?
    Should he point out the obvious—that Rick didn’t want to go down on his girlfriend because he was gay—or let him continue believing he was bisexual? In the state Rick was in, he couldn’t handle any more life-altering revelations.
    “You’re not destroying us. You’re confused. Discovering your sexuality can be traumatic, especially when you’ve been in denial.”
    “I haven’t been in denial. I just…I assumed I was straight, and that the things I felt were normal for straight men. Checking out other guy’s butts in the locker room. Wanting to touch my guy friends the way women touch their girlfriends, even though it was taboo. It was only a few months ago I realized that most straight men aren’t like that.”
    “You were right about one thing. You are a fucking idiot.”
    “Yes, but I’m your fucking idiot.” Rick lay down with his head on the pillow.
    He reclined by Rick’s side. “I need to know how you feel about me.”
    “I love you.”
    “You mean as a friend.”
    “Jordy, we are way beyond friends. You swallowed my cum. I had my fingers in your ass. Men don’t do that with their friends.”
    “So what are we, then?”
    “We’re lovers.”
    He nodded. He could live with that. He was still pissed, but he accepted that Rick was doing his best in a stressful situation. “Don’t ever fucking lie to me again, or I will pummel your ass. And I don’t mean in a good way.”
    “I didn’t lie, exactly,” Rick said.
    “I can take it if you want to be with women, and if you don’t want a long-distance relationship. But not if you pretend that what happened between us yesterday wasn’t real. It wasn’t just sex. We made love. I know that’s a girly thing to say, but it’s true.”
    Rick cupped his cheek, hand soft and warm. His brown puppy dog eyes turned soft and liquid. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
    “It’s too early to have this conversation.