Seeker of Stars: A Novel by Susan Fish Read Free Book Online Page B

tears, or my kiss as I prepared to leave.
    “I will hurry back,” I said. “You know I have no choice, but I will hurry home.”
    Eyes dulled, Reta handed me my bags, so hurriedly packed, and food she had prepared, and recited a blessing.
    “The Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you.”

~ 10 ~
    B reach
    It was an inauspicious start, but once the city was behind us, I sighed with relief. The stars were indeed promising for journeying, and so it had been two days of intense emotion and feverish activity. Now nothing more could be done. I settled on my mount, trying to look as though riding a horse was something I did regularly, when in fact I had ridden a horse only once before.
    It had been Stela’s birthday, and her father had thrown a lavish party for her. I had never quite been sure of my role when I lived with the chief astronomer. I was permitted to eat at the table with the family, and I could reply to their direct questions and smile at their jokes, but I soon realized I was not to initiate conversation. I became an adept watcher, my every nerve strung tight, while I appeared, I hoped, merely preoccupied with my meals. When a voice addressed my general direction, my head would whip up, so prepared was I to participate. I felt ashamed at my eagerness, and at times, I wished for the easy conversations of the servants’ tables, where merchants were welcome.
    Since my first night in the city, such arrangements had split my family. As the chief astronomer’s daughter, Stela had been permitted to lead me to the dining table, while my uncle and brother were left outdoors to eat with the slaves and servants. It was that way each time our caravan arrived for a visit. The laughter and voices floating in through a distant window made me long for my brother’s position, while desire was plain on Salvi’s face as he took in Stela’s beauty. To this day, I am not sure whether it was more my brother’s envy or my own infatuation with Stela that caused the breach with Leyla.
    Stela had blue eyes. I had never before seen anyone with blue eyes, and hers were white-blue, blazing in her golden face. Her hair was hennaed red, and she wore it in elaborate designs. She had the bearing of a young queen, and I was utterly captivated by her manner. Still, I was aware that if I held a limbo position at the astronomer’s table, much more uncertain were my chances with his daughter.
    And I was in love with Leyla. I wrote her long letters, and she replied to each with packages of figs and wine. My sister included small drawings and little stones until she learned to write for herself, which was around the time Leyla ceased to correspond with me. Leyla had never liked to reveal much, but she wrapped each fig carefully and responded promptly so that I knew I was secure in her heart.
    Once a year, I was permitted to go home for the harvest festivals. The first year I saw Leyla many times and spent only one night on my father’s roof with Omar and Reta, who were eager to learn of my discoveries and lessons among the astronomers. I was willing to teach too, but not as desirous as I was to see Leyla. I concocted excuses of taking food and wine to Aunt Babu’s, where I met Leyla and walked her home. Since she had begun to imagine herself as the future bride of a magus, gone were the provocative attempts of years past. Leyla was quiet, though when I kissed her cheek, I could feel a shudder of desire run through her body. Before she ran indoors, cheeks flushed, she smiled.
    Before my second visit home, Omar died of fever, and I mourned his death as that of a brother. When I went home for the harvest, my heart was a heavy stone. Omar’s mother, still in high mourning, clutched me to her breast, keening and sobbing. She pulled a bundle from her robes, thrust it into my hands, patted my head as if I were a little boy, and returned to her solitary grief.
    I waited until I was alone on the roof that night before I opened