Selby Snaps by Duncan Ball Read Free Book Online Page B

and treats me like one of the family I’ll be out of there like a shot.’ Selby looked over at Bubbles. ‘But what about him? He’s the one she should take. He needs a home, not me.’
    ‘Selby is just being stubborn,’ Kitty said. ‘But he’ll loosen up after a while.’
    ‘Yes, I’m sure you’re right, Kitty. But I’m certainly not going to pay you ten million dollars without proof that he can talk. Not that I don’t trust you.’
    ‘Ten million dollars!’ Selby thought. ‘Wow! Maybe I should sell myself and keep all themoney. What am I talking about?! Right now I don’t even own me! I’ve been dog-napped!’
    ‘The way to get Selby to talk,’ the pet shop owner said, ‘is just don’t feed him till he does.’
    ‘That seems a little cruel,’ the old woman said, ‘but if it’s the only way …’
    ‘Not feed me?! But I’m starving already!’ Selby thought. ‘No, no, anything but that!’
    Suddenly something in Selby snapped. He thought of all the good and bad things that had happened to him. He thought of how kind the Trifles had been to him, but he also thought of the terrible food they gave him. He thought of how comfortable it was in the Trifles’ house but he also remembered that he couldn’t watch the TV programs he wanted to watch when they were around. And he thought of how he’d learned to talk by watching TV but
he never got a chance to say anything.
There were good things about living with the Trifles but there were bad things too.
    ‘Okay, I’ll talk to you,’ Selby said out loud. ‘Hi, how are you? My name’s Selby. Okay?’
    ‘Goodness!’ the Countess exclaimed. ‘You do talk! Not that I didn’t believe you, Kitty. Well,Selby, how do you feel about coming to live with me?’
    ‘Do you really live in a big mansion?’ Selby asked.
    ‘Yes, I do. And you can have everything you want there. Do you like good food, Selby?’
    ‘Can I have peanut prawns?’ Selby asked.
    ‘My chef makes the best peanut prawns in the world.’
    ‘Can I watch TV any time I want to?’
    ‘Certainly. You’ll be one of the family, remember? We have a giant TV screen and a huge library of films on video. We even have our own movie theatre.’
    ‘Hey, this is starting to sound okay,’ Selby said. ‘I’ll have a better life than I ever did with the Trifles. But, before I agree to anything, I have a few conditions.’
    ‘Conditions?!’ Kitty exclaimed. ‘Who are you to set conditions?’
    ‘I’m the only talking dog in Australia and, perhaps, the world,’ Selby said. ‘That’s who I am.’
    ‘Okay, what are your conditions?’ the Countess asked.
    ‘First of all: I don’t want the Trifles to be sadwhen they find out that I’m gone so I want you to give them Bubbles here.’
    ‘But won’t they notice that he’s not quite like you?’ Kitty asked.
    ‘What, that little white spot? They’ll never see it,’ Selby said. ‘Just put my collar on him and his collar on me. Then take him to the Trifles. Tell them that you found him wandering around dazed and confused. In a few days he’ll be used to living with them and everything will be okay.’
    ‘Okay,’ said Kitty. ‘I can do that.’
    ‘There’s more,’ said Selby. ‘I’m starving.’
    ‘Just a sec, I’ll get you some Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits.’
    ‘I hate them!’ Selby said. ‘I want some proper people-food. Pop across the street to the Spicy Onion Restaurant and get me some peanut prawns.’
    ‘I’ll be back in a tick,’ Kitty said, racing out the door and leaving Selby with the Countess.
    ‘I think I’m going to like being with you,’ Selby said.
    ‘And I’ll
love
being with you,’ the old woman said. ‘To think, I’ll have the only talking dog in the world.’
    ‘But you know I’m not very talkative,’ Selby said. ‘So, don’t feel insulted if I just lie there and listen, okay?’
    ‘That’s perfectly all right with me.’
    ‘Crikey!’ Selby suddenly exclaimed. ‘I forgot to tell Kitty to have