Serving the Soldier - Part 4 (An Alpha Military Romance) by Helen Grey Read Free Book Online Page A

at the kitchen table, staring idly at the cabinets, the marble countertop, the gorgeous hardwood floor. This was not my life. This was not my home. It never would be. In a short while, it would no longer even be Jax’s home.
    Where would he go? Probably to another estate that he more than likely owned. A roof over his head was probably the last thing that someone like Jax would worry about. As soon as he was released to go back to duty he would return to his home base and likely get sent off on another clandestine mission that could take anywhere from a few days to weeks to a few months or longer.
    I muttered under my breath, cursing myself again for being such an idiot. I wish I knew what was going on with Jax, but I had to accept the fact that I probably never would. If I was smart, I would call Nancy right now and spill the beans. Not about the sex of course, but that I had grown too attached to my patient and that I felt it would be better if she replaced me.
    But could I in good conscience send another nurse into this situation? That bothered me. Would Jax even agree to a new nurse? Nancy wouldn't be happy, but she would understand. She knew what it was like to get too attached to a client.
    While nurses were encouraged to be compassionate and caring individuals, and it was recommended to develop a good rapport with patients, it was never a good idea to get too emotionally involved. In my case, it was because most of my clients were elderly and in various states of disease processes. They died. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they died. I had been through the pain of such loss many times. Every time I got a new patient, I swore to myself that I would not get emotionally attached. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. There were just some patients that I felt fonder of than others.
    And Jax? I really had no one to compare him to. Sure, I’d had younger patients, but no one like him. I had never met anyone with the charisma, looks, and sexual charm that personified Jax. Add combat soldier, Special Ops, and that ‘bad boy’ attitude on top of it, and I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Still, I thought I had more control over myself than that.
    Sitting in the kitchen, I decided to perform a little test. I wanted to see if I could think of Jax naked without eliciting any sexual feelings. I pictured him standing next to the coffee machine, naked, leaning against the counter in his usual stance, feet crossed at the ankles.
    There was nothing wrong with admiring a finely built body, was there? The finely built body was one thing, I realized. It was the sight of his beautiful and perfectly formed cock that always did me in. Flaccid or erect; soft and smooth or engorged with passion, that cock had gotten me into a lot of trouble. Not physically, but emotionally.
    And, as I might have anticipated or expected, I failed my little test. Just the thought of his penis initiated tiny, yet pleasurable contractions in my pussy. My nipples hardened as if he was right there in front of me, suckling them.
    "Dammit!"
    I shot up from the chair and decided to go back to my room. Every step I took up the stairs, I swore, trying to remember all the bad words that I could think of that I had learned over the years and yet rarely allowed past my lips. No, I was nothing but a fool and had no one but myself to blame.
    At the top of the stairs I quickly passed Jax’s office and then entered my bedroom, practically slamming the door behind me. I flung myself face down onto the bed, my heart pounding, my emotions in turmoil, and so frustrated with myself and the situation I found myself in that I literally screamed into the pillows. My hands clutched the bedspread in desperation. I began to cry, great, heaving sobs that came from deep within me.
    Finally, after crying my eyes out for who knew how long, I fell into an emotionally exhausted sleep. Until I was rudely jarred awake.

Chapter 5
    I rolled over and sat upright, my heart