because I thought our day would be pretty mundane, all things considered.
I mean, I knew the view from the Mogollon Rim was incredible, but going to a fish hatchery was something you normally took children to see. I didn’t think that he would be as enthralled as he was by farmed fish. Because most of our lakes were man-made, the hatchery was used to stock them with trout. When my parents brought Britton and I there when we were younger, I thought it was where all fish came from. Ryan hadn’t asked any questions about why the place existed, but I could tell that he wanted to. We just went from bay to bay, looking at the fish at various states of growth and even fed the pound of nearly adult fish that were ready to be transported.
“It was… unexpected.”
“Why’s that?” I shifted to my side to face him, curious about his words.
“When you said to bring hiking boots, my first thought had been the Superstitions. However, after you directed me in the opposite direction, I expected a day trek to the Grand Canyon,” he explained, moving again to mirror my position.
“The Grand Canyon wasn’t on my radar, either,” I shook my head. “This was where I wanted to take you.”
“Why?”
“Well, the Grand Canyon is still kind of obvious, isn’t it? I mean, it is one of the seven natural wonders of the world,” I rolled my eyes in mock exasperation. “After all, you asked me to show you around, but I didn’t think you wanted me to show you places you’ve already heard about. You don’t exactly need an Arizona native to show you that shit,” I rambled, even though I knew that wasn’t what he’d been asking. And if I were on the fence about the real reason behind his question, he decided to clarify.
“No, I meant, why did you want to take me here? I’m not complaining or anything, this place is incredible, but why here ?” The earnestness in his eyes as he waited for my answer was breathtaking. He really wanted to know what I loved about this place, why it was important. Even though it would reveal more than I was comfortable with, I couldn’t stop myself from answering him honestly.
“Well, I didn’t know how today would work out for us, and I wanted to bring you somewhere I didn’t go on a school trip,” I started, my voice barely above a whisper and my eyes staring blankly over his shoulder. “The last time I was here, was the last time I ever got to look at a place with the wide-eyed innocence of a child and, because I was able to see it all again with you, it still feels as magical today as it did back then.”
“I’m glad I could help you revisit a place you found to be good and pure before life hurt you,” he whispered back, putting a warm hand against my cheek and bringing my eyes back to his. Even in the darkness, the empathy pulsing in his gaze shone through. I was so grateful it wasn’t pity, because if it was with just that small confession, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to open up to him anymore. I didn’t want to become a charity case. “So, do I get you another day, or do I have to take you back home in the morning?” he asked, leaning his forehead against mine and closing his eyes as if sending up a silent prayer that I’d say yes to getting to know him more through further travel.
I didn’t think there was any question. Aside from our mounting attraction, I wasn’t well travelled and couldn’t turn down the opportunity to see the little places I’d always wanted to visit. Really, he’d picked the wrong person to go on this grand adventure with, as I would be out of ideas after tomorrow and I refused to give in on going to the biggest tourism draws. I hoped he wouldn’t mind.
His breathing turned heavy as he waited for my answer, bathing my cheeks with a moist heat that had me panting in return. I stared at his tightly shut eyes, wondering if they were closed because he wouldn’t be able to look if I said no, or if he was sending up silent prayers that I’d
John Steinbeck, Richard Astro