Shadow of the Past by Judith Cutler Read Free Book Online

weaknesses. I would sing with you every evening of my life.’ Realising the implications of what she had said, she covered her mouth with her hand, retired to the sofa nearest the nursery party and understandably refused to converse with me alone for the rest of the evening – not, of course, that I would have said anything to put her to the blush.
    At a click of Sir Marcus’s fingers the governess slid silently on to the piano stool, flexing and chafing her fingers either with nervousness or to restore the feeling after sitting so long in the circle further from the fire. If my word to Mrs Sandys had improved her comfort in the house, I had done nothing to ameliorate her life with the family. By now at least I knew her name to be Anne Southey; I judged her to be in her mid-twenties . The modest black gown she wore was not kind to her colouring or complexion, and her eyes, which I suspected were her best features, were always kept demurely lowered. Politeness rather than personal interest made me offer to turn her pages, a suggestion she accepted without any prevarication that might draw attention to her.
    I expected the humdrum music so often provided simply as an accompaniment to vacuous chatter; instead I found myself listening to music by that vehement German, Herr Beethoven. By disregarding all the fortissimo and other markings to show the composer’s passionate intention, Miss Southey turned the music into social nothingness. But I never doubted for one moment that – had she dared – shecould have unleashed every scrap of the music’s power.
    At the end of the sonata, I earnestly wished to speak to the musician, but she turned swiftly away, returning, under cover of the shouts of the schoolroom party demanding a game of speculation, to the shadows whence she had come.
    Lady Dorothea joined in with a will, a tiny glance at me suggesting that she might not find me an unwelcome addition to the group. At first I was too conscious of her presence to play well, and perhaps she felt a similar constraint. However, as the game progressed, so she relaxed, her laughter ringing out like the clearest bell as she lost heavily or recouped her losses. Her eyes, blue as the silk of her gown, flashed; her teeth gleamed like the pearls round her long, slender neck; and I caught myself in a selfish prayer that the weather might stay so vile even longer, constraining her to stay at the Hall, if not in perpetuity, at least for a further week.
     
    A deathbed and the need to baptise an ailing babe prevented my returning to the Hall for several days. By this time, Lady Dorothea had possibly put her embarrassing slip of the tongue from her mind, consenting readily to join me at the fortepiano for a duet. We played two or three pieces only, before retiring to listen to Lady Bramhall.
    Lady Dorothea made no reference to her own performance, which in truth, was, as before, competent rather than excellent. My own was inexcusably bad, attributable perhaps to her proximity to me. I need not add that I would rather have sat beside her and played duets badly than played a great cathedral organ well.
    When Miss Southey was summoned to the piano, I felt obliged to offer to turn her pages – she was playing Mozart,this time. I almost exclaimed aloud at the sight of her arms. They were empurpled with bruises. Had she suffered some terrible accident? Before I could speak, she said, ‘I believe Lady Chase wishes to speak to you – no doubt about further provision for the poor.’
    Thus dismissed, and with such venomous resentment, I did indeed retreat to her ladyship’s side, if not to converse – we were both too well mannered to insult the musician in that way – but to wonder about the manner of my dismissal. I had always assumed her to be a victim of the family, suppressing all her emotions. Now I had seen another side, which disconcerted me.
    Miss Southey herself remained at the instrument. Lady Dorothea made no remark as she unobtrusively