Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Sword Princess by Suzette Hollingsworth Read Free Book Online Page A

transgression.”
    “Do you see what I mean, Watson?   She’s insubordinate, rude, unfeminine , and completely incapable of disciplining her tongue.”   He bestowed his warmest smile upon her.   “But she’s very good at washing jars and keeping the floors clean.   Now run along, Miss Hudson.   Attend to your parlor decorations and leave us to solving the real problems of the world.”

CHAPTER SIX
6

    The real problems.   She’d give him a real problem.   Or two.
    But the truth was that Sherlock Holmes was the real problem:   he was utterly incorrigible.   Cantankerous, rude, unpleasant, more than a little disturbed.  
    And the most brilliant man she had ever met .
    A few hours later Mirabella was absorbed in sweeping the floors of the laboratory—for what seemed like the tenth time that day—when suddenly a horrible stench caught her nose, whiskey and heaven knows what else.
    “Lor’ luv a duck!” A dirty, smelly man stumbled into her.   “Where is da nearest pub, miss?”
    “How did you get in here?   This is a private residence!”   She gasped, startled and frightened at finding an intruder inside the building, inching backwards towards the fire poker while eyeing the location of Dr. Watson’s pistol.
    And then she recognized the intelligent silvery grey eyes looking back at her.   His normally dark hair was almost black with soot—and he reeked.   Of sardines, tobacco, and whiskey .   “ Mr. Holmes , is that you?   And have you been drinking? ”
    “Blimey, I never drink when I’m workin’,” he replied, chewing on the cigar hanging from his mouth and popping the suspenders which held up his too-large beige corduroy pants.   He tipped his bowler hat to her.   “And when I’m not workin’ there are uvver bad ‘abits mawer ter me taste, Miss Belle .”   He winked at her.
    “Oh, you stink , sir.   If you’ll pardon me for saying so.”
    “Spiffing.   That’s what I was goin’ fer.   Believabili’y is everythin’ in dis business.   Speakin ‘ov which . . .” he took some crumpled bills out of his pocket and held them out to her.   “Go an’ buy yaaahrself some pret’y dresses.   I’ve decided what yew are da best bird fer da job I ‘ave in mind.”
    “Truly?   Oh, Mr. Holmes, thank you!   Oh, I promise you won’t be disappointed . . .”
    “I’m awready dissy-pointed.”
    She rushed forward to curtsey before him as hugging him would have been completely . . . frightful.  
    “Are those perfectly safe? ”   She stopped dead in her tracks as she stared at the crumpled bills he held out to her—and then at him.   Mirabella“I presume that you have read Robert Koch’s recent publication on germ theory.   Most notably his studies of the bacterium Bacillus anthracis.”
    “Lawd above!   There ain’t no anthrax on deese pound notes, little missy.   . . . . Thuff some gloves might be in order.”
    “Without a doubt,” she frowned, making no movement towards the bills which appeared, at first glance, to be more money than she had seen in a lifetime.   “If you would kindly place the bills on the chair— your chair, not Dr. Watson’s—I will fumigate them and proceed to the Ladies’ Emporium .   Never fear, Mr. Holmes, my Aunt Martha is an excellent seamstress, and we shall make good use of your funds.   What precisely do I needfor the assignment?”
    “Ye just deck yaaahrself aaaht fancy like a proper lady—ye’ll need several ever-day gowns an’ an evenin’ gown wiv all da proper acoutremun’s:   crocheted gloves an’ silk gloves, a lace parasol, a ladies’ fan, a satin reticule, boots an’ shoes, shiny bobbles, even feminine scent.   An’ a silk nightgown as a high-born gul’ wud haf, fergive me fer bringin’ up the unmentionables but they must be mentioned.   And while yer at i’ make yaaahrself a proper lab coat an’ a dress fer greetin’ me visitors.”   He handed her a card.   “Me optometrist.   Get some ‘o