Shiny! by Amy Lane Read Free Book Online Page B

wasn’t sure what to do to shut the bag up.
    Heya, remember that big phallic thing? I’m its oddly shaped little brother. And I’ve got a book! Sure, it’s billed as porn, but it’s got instructions !
    Instructions with both male and female models.
    William stopped at the first McDonald’s he came to and ordered a large Dr Pepper and an Egg McMuffin. He’d finished them both by the time he got to his tiny Carmichael apartment, and only the thought of the twelve-pack of Dr Pepper he stocked in his refrigerator kept him from collapsing and weeping before he got through the doorway.
    He needed a shower.
    And that entire half case of soda.
    And some quiet time with that book and that little toy and the little bottle of lubricant.
    And then he’d look himself in the mirror and figure out what he saw.
    He visited the potty for a long time before the shower. When he got out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed a soda from the tiny fridge in the tinier kitchenette, then downed it in three gulps. The apartment wasn’t very big—the kitchen/dinette nook was about one step across, and the couch was three steps from that. The living/dining room was taken up with the computer table, several towers, various laptops, shelves of books, CDs, DVDs, textbooks, and action figures. Everything was shelved neatly and even organized in its own way, but it was, well, everything. There were so many shelves, there wasn’t any room for posters, and the couch and the small television were like islands of civilization in a sea of nerd-dom.
    But, well, it sure was private.
    In fact, his biggest worry in terms of privacy was that the sliding glass door to the patio was on the other end of the apartment from the bedroom, but he’d already pulled the heavy drapes.
    He heard his phone buzz, and he pulled it out of his pants and plugged it into the charger after setting it on silent. It was his mom. His mom could wait. There were also six messages from Denise, and he had the feeling he had something really important to do before he took those calls.
    He was tingling all over his body, and just the thought of opening that little tiger-striped bag ramped that tingling up higher.
    Kiss and Tell ,he read from the side of the bag. Vaguely he remembered the place, a little marital aids store on the corner of Fair Oaks and Winding Way, with bright neon signs against the darkness. He remembered sitting in the front seat when Kenny had stopped the car, and when he’d come to, Kenny was getting back in the car, so he must have bought this then.
    Jesus, what had Will said?
    Apparently more about stuff that went in his bottom, he thought practically, brazening out the blush. His hands were sweating and he was practically shaking with urgency as he pulled out the contents of the bag.
    Will lay on the bed, propping himself up with his arms, and the towel fell open at the back. Well, he thought, spreading his legs a little in the air and feeling decidedly naughty, nobody was here. Nobody could look inside his bedroom— or his brain—and this moment here? This was just for him. Via a very nice man who’d had a very bad day.
    With that, he grabbed the book from the bag and opened it up to page one.
    Oral and Penetrative Sex—The Illustrated Guide.
    The title alone made him hard, and he really hadn’t even looked at any pictures.
    It was a coed book—women and men, in all combinations, demonstrating pretty much every technique under the sun. It must have cost a fortune ,but… well, damn.
    Will had never really looked at erotica—in fact, had never considered himself particularly sexual at all. He was very conscious of the fact that he was a big guy, sort of doofy—and, if his recent job situation was anything to gauge by, a very poor judge of any social situation.
    Who really wanted to get with that?
    Once he’d made that realization in middle school, he figured he had two choices. The first was to pine away for some sort of idealized woman