Sink or Swim by Bob Balaban Read Free Book Online Page A

complete and total fool of myself.”
    â€œSorry I brought it up,” Dave says quietly. He gets under his covers.
    â€œI hate seventh grade. It’s like one big opportunity to goof up. Everyone stares at you all the time, just waiting for you to do something stupid so they can talk about it behind your back for the rest of your life.”
    â€œYeah,” Dave agrees. “Seventh grade is the pits.”
    â€œAmen.” I turn off my light.
    We both grow quiet. I think about how much I hope they catch the mysterious robber.
    Then that horrible sound starts in again. Only this time it’s closer. Much closer.
    A shiver travels up my body from the tip of my flippers to the top of my pointy head. Balthazar rolls over onto his back and asks for his stomach to be scratched. “What do you think that sound is, Dave?”
    â€œI dunno,” he answers. “Maybe a couple of bobcats fighting. Why, what do you think it is?”
    â€œIt sounds kind of like a werewolf to me.”
    Dave chuckles. “You’re kidding.”
    â€œNot exactly.”
    â€œBecause there’s no such thing as werewolves, okay?” Dave sits up in his bed and looks me right in the eye. “You know that, right?”
    â€œI guess so.” I scratch Balthazar carefully on his soft round belly with one of my claws. He’s almost asleep again. “You think maybe it’s a banshee?”
    â€œNo, I do not think it’s a banshee.” Dave seems pretty adamant. “There’s no such thing as banshees, either. You know, for a genius, sometimes you’re not very smart.”
    â€œTell me about it.”
    â€œYou’ve got to stop watching those scary movies. They’re a bad influence on you. Seriously, Charlie. And there’s no such thing as vampires. Or zombies. Or the Invisible Man. Or Mothra, for that matter.”
    â€œOh yeah? Well, what about Creatures? Are they imaginary, too?”
    For once in his life, my brother can’t think of a single thing to say. He just sighs deeply and pulls the covers over his head.
    Pretty soon I can’t tell who’s snoring the loudest: Balthazar or Dave. And I am still awake. I stare up at the ceiling and try to keep my mind off tomorrow’s swim practice. Which only makes me think about it more.
    If there really was an alternate universe somewhere, I would move there immediately. Just as long as they don’t have swimming teams there.



6
    YOU CAN LEAD A CREATURE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN’T MAKE HIM SWIM
    â€œWHEN I BLOW my whistle, everybody into the water!” Coach Grubman shouts. Last period just ended and swimming practice is about to start. I am doing my best off to ward off a panic attack. Wish me luck.
    Coach Grubman is short and stocky and bald. A large silver whistle hangs from his neck. He looks like one of those people who goes around wrestling alligators on Animal Planet. He ought to feel right at home with me.
    â€œOne, two, three. BRRRRRRING!!! ”
    The sound echoes through the pool area, and the fifteen other members of the Stevenson Middle School swimming team leap into the deep end, laughing and screaming and waving their arms.
    Not me. I say a silent prayer, hunker down by the gutter, and dip my scaly green legs slowly and carefully into the shallow end. I have hated going in the water ever since Craig Dieterly pushed my head in the sink and turned on the faucet during first-grade bathroom break. I nearly drowned.
    â€œYou there! What do you think you’re doing?” Coach Grubman barks.
    I was kind of hoping he wouldn’t notice me. Not happening.
    Coach holds a rubber band in his hands and fiddles with it as he talks. He stretches it. He winds it around his fingers. He balls it up in his fist. “What part of ‘everybody into the water’ don’t you understand, Drinkwater?” He snaps the rubber band like it is an exclamation point.

    â€œSorry, sir,” I reply.