much less than
human already. When I heard about the Animus movement, I was
already at a point of last resort. Do you know what that’s like?
Everyone says at one point or another about so many things, that
they have no choice. But to actually, legitimately have no other
option—a life of blindness or serpent’s eyes adapted to my own
useless eyeballs so that I might continue to see the world. Those
were my choices. What would you have chosen?”
Part of me
wanted him to be able to say blindness. But there was not a
question.
“ I get
it, I do,” I said. What I thought about Animus stuff in general,
that’s not the whole reason why I didn’t want to join that club and
I was about to tell her as much. She lifted her head and looked up
at me. It was the first time we’d been together where I had felt in
any kind of commanding position. It probably makes me an asshole to
find that kind of thing important, right?
“ Your
judgements of the Animus is preventing you from understanding what
it is we do at Sanctuary.”
“ Natural
versus Animus. I filled it in from what Cato told me. A test of
strength and form, right? To see which body works
better?”
“ It’s not
a test. Not in any typical sense. We celebrate a winner and we
celebrate the efforts of the lesser on the night. And that’s all it
is, a celebration. A marvel at what the human form is capable
of.”
“ Then why
the distinction? The fight? Why not have Natural against Natural?
Why fight at all?”
“ The
distinction because we need to categorise, all of us do. Because
humans like to watch others fight. It’s just another natural
urge.”
We arrived at
my apartment building without me even realising we had walked that
far.
“ I’ve
learned it’s better to accept my natural urges, Rev. I can’t and I
won’t resist them. I know you have urges too.”
I did have
urges. I had the urge to grab her again, take her upstairs. She
pulled her hand out of mine.
“ Goodbye
Rev. If that’s what you want this to be.”
“ It was
interesting, but this has to be goodbye. I can’t take your job, I’m
sorry.”
I turned away
and wanted to kiss her again. Closing the door behind me, not
looking at her still standing there as if she were waiting for me
to turn and come back at her bidding. That’s goodbye, I told myself
and knew I’d be seeing her again as soon as I could manage it.
Steam
My phone
beeped, pulling me out of a dream where I ran, shoving and pushing
through crowds of people, all with different animal parts. Victoria
was there too, running beside me and shouting that Brandt Delaney
was telling me to keep her OU project a secret. TV cameras came at
my face from every direction.
"They killed
my mother!" I screamed into the black eyes of the cameras.
I woke
not knowing where I was or what time it was. The city blazed in
midday and I realised I ’d slept away most of the
morning.
It was a
message from Sveta. I knew she would contact me and yes, I was even
waiting for it. It wasn ’t a question. It wasn’t an
invitation or a request. She was coming to pick me up. I leaped out
of bed, buzzing and nervous as if I had consumed a can of
Winner.
I was
coming out of a quick shower when the doorbell chimed. I checked
the door cam. I hadn ’t expected her so quickly and I
really hadn’t expected her to actually come up to my door. I let
her up, acutely aware I was still wearing just a towel around my
waist.
“ Dressing down?” she said. “Don’t worry. I like the naturist
look.” She emphasised the ‘natural’ part of the word.
I wanted to
drop the towel. I wanted to pull her dress off. It was a long dark
blue sleek thing, the colour of midnight. Just a slip of cloth
standing between us both being naked. Instead I hurried back into
the bedroom before she noticed how excited I really was to see her.
I was disappointed she stayed in the living room.
“ You’re
late for work,” she called between the rooms.
I pulled
t-shirt over