Slant by Greg Bear Read Free Book Online Page B

future corporate/state government relations in the U.S. Rim. Got to pay our bills." "The flow charts and timelines, or the raw neural processing records?" "For now, just the charts and timelines." Ayesha listens in awe. Jill's voice is deep, a little husky, commanding yet pleasant. She seems to fill the large room. Jill notes, with some pleasure, that Ayesha is beginning to perspire nervously. "Nathan, I will need to discard the raw neural records to complete next week's work load." "Understood, but I don't have a bank reserved that's large enough to hold them. If I don't get one by the end of this week, go ahead and dump. I'll take responsibility." "Perhaps Representative Caldwell would be willing to arrange a storage site." "Ha ha. What else are you working on, Jill?" "I have thirty-one personal investigations--curiosity quests, as you call them. There are four outside projects sealed from Mind Design inquiry for the time being--" "I hate those outside jobs. Sooner or later one of them is going to require some loop re-engineering, and I don't have time. I wish they'd let me speck them out first." "All flows smooth with the outside tasks. I do have a number of questions to ask you, NathanMathan." "I beg your pardon? What is a NathanMathan?" "It's a term of endearment. I just made it up." Nathan laughs, and Ayesha laughs with him, a little uneasily, Jill thinks. She is testing him to see what he really thinks of her, whether he is of the opinion she is fully recovered, or liable to crippling eccentricities. His reaction reveals a certain nervousness about unpredictable behavior, but no deep doubts. "Ask away, Jill. We have a few minutes before Ayesha has to leave and the masters whip me off to another meeting." "What does a thymic disturbance feel like? And how does it differ from the sensations of a pathic disturbance?" Ayesha turns to Nathan, wondering how he will answer this. Nathan rubs his elbow and considers. "You're asking how it j%/s to undergo a thymic imbalance, right?" "I believe the questions are sufficiently similar to be congruent." "Yes. Well, as I understand it, thymic imbalance is different from simply being sad or upset or deeply concerned about something. In humans, a chronic thvmic imbalance stems from stress-caused or biogenic neural damage, gen-
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    erally in the amygdala or the hippocampus. Judgments of one's well-being are impaired, and this invokes a sympathetic or parasympathetic response, jointly or in succession. Basic fight-or-flight but with many subtle variations." "I understand the etiology of these imbalances, Nathan-Mathan. But what does it fee/like to undergo them ?" "I'm not sure I can tell you, certainly not from first-hand experience. So far, knock wood, I'm a natural, Jill. I've never been depressed or imbalanced." "That means your internal responses to external problems fall within a certain range considered robust and normal." "So far. I'm not bragging, either. These things can happen to anybody, and for the stupidest reasons." "Likewise you have not experienced and do not understand the sensations produced by pathic disturbances." Nathan considers this, tapping his chin with one finger. "I've wandered into a few of the Yox sensationals and experienced, you know, the inner thoughts of ax-murderers, that sort of thing. Some of them have seemed realistic, but I doubt they give deep insight." He focuses completely on Jill's nearest sensor stick. Ayesha feels like a third wheel, but stands with arms folded, looking around the room. "A pathic disturbance can be either a malfunction of the self-awareness loop, or a distortion of the capacity to model and make emotional connections with others, right?" "I suppose. I'm not a therapist, Jill." "You have degrees in theoretical psychology." "Yes . . . but I've been working with you for so long, you've bured out my human side." "Ha ha. I have a related question." Nathan smiles as if he is dealing with a child, and that is the response Jill