of clear ice water. I grasped mine and gulped down a quarter of it, then I focused on wiping off the condensation on the table below the jar with my napkin over and over again.
“Hey.” The old joints of the table creaked as Lonan leaned forward on his elbows. “Can I ask you another question?”
“Sure,” I said.
He cocked his head, and looked me up and down, although the table obscured anything below the waist. I didn’t see a familiar flash of disappointment when he noted my chubby arms. That was something.
“Is it true that you’ve never been kissed?” he asked.
“What? I set t-those questions to p-private,” I spluttered. At least, I’d answered them as if they were.
“You must’ve clicked the wrong button.” This time when he laughed, it was real. I liked it even less than his fake one. “And I’ll take that to mean you haven’t.”
“I…”
The waitress came and he waved her away casually, still staring at me, smirking. It was a little handsome, like if I squinted he could be rakishly charming.
“I could kiss you now, if you’d like. Just to see how it goes?”
“We’ve known each other less than twenty minutes!”
“I know a lot about you, though.” He gestured with the napkin-wrapped silverwear at me. “Your favorite movie is The Last Werebeast , mine too by the way. You were an English major, and your favorite flavor of ice cream is Cherry Garcia. The small talk’s been taken care of.”
He wasn’t wrong. I knew all sorts of silly things from his profile too. Like that his favorite book was Silver and Silicone: The Dawn of the Age of Man, that he worked as some kind of salesman and that he prided himself on being able to “fix any problem corporate or otherwise.” But I didn’t know Lonan Brown.
Lonan didn’t seem bothered by this. His mouth was still twisted in a smirk as he shrugged. “Hey, it might be nice to get it out of the way. You seem nervous, and I thought why not get rid of the anticipation?”
“I-I’m not nervous,” I lied.
“Really?” Lonan tilted his head meaningfully to the fork I had clutched in one fist, like it was a miniature sword. I’d left my actual mini-sword at home.
“Maybe a little,” I said, and let the fork go. This time when I laughed I felt it in my belly and it might’ve been with real humor.
“It’s okay to be nervous. And…” He set down the silverware, his features boyish. “It’s okay if you’re not interested as well. No pressure.”
“No.” I swallowed, my voice sounding dry and cracked in spite of the water I’d just drunk. I was twenty-three. At this point it didn’t need to be true love for my first kiss. I just needed to get it over with. If Lonan still made my skin crawl afterwards, I’d stand up and leave.
“I mean. Yes,” I said. “I’m interested. Nervous. But interested.”
He grabbed my hand again, his icy touch making me shiver a little less this time. “It’s okay. To be nervous. I bet you’d be calmer if you let me kiss you just once, before we start our dinner. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered.
Lonan patted my hand. “There you go, Rose.”
I cringed at his condescending tone, but it was too late, he was already closing the distance between us. His breath was cold and overly minty, like he had drunk a whole gallon of mouthwash. It’s sharpness reminded me of the hospital smell.
As his chapped lips drew closer I noticed the flecks of dead skin on them. I could count his nose hairs. My heart thundered in my chest. Now my hands felt cold too.
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t have my first kiss be this. I started to stand up.
“Rose.”
A searing warmth of recognition lightening-ed from the mark on my neck all the way down my spine. The velvety baritone sounded so familiar, but it couldn’t be.
“Dr. Ward?” I asked as I turned, fully expecting it to be a waiter.
It wasn’t.
There he was. The Viking-sex-god doctor, and Sweet Jesus he was beautiful.
If I thought he was