Sleeping Handsome by Jean Haus Read Free Book Online Page A

it’s…it’s about closure.
We have to let go.”
    My mouth opens, ready
to plead more, but the pain in her shining eyes has me snapping it shut. This
is her son of almost eighteen years while I’ve only known him for a month
through a journal. But my silence twists my heart in two.
      She hands me a Kleenex from a box of tissue
behind her before getting one for herself. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
She hands me two more. “You don’t need to read today. It’s okay.”
    I press the soaked
Kleenex to my lips before I whisper, “Can I at least go say goodbye?”
    She shakes her head
yes. “Of course you can.”
    Through the foyer and
up the stairs, my eyes become the source of a tear river. My nose a waterfall
of snot. In his room, I shut the door—something I’ve never done—and lean
against the back of it while I sob then stumble to the bed.
    The feel of his warm
hand in mine turns my sobbing into overdrive. I can barely make out his serene
face through the mist in my eyes. I still can’t believe this is happening and
I’m not sure what to say, what my last words should be.
    Needing to feel his
warmth, I grip his hand tighter. “I’m going to miss you Zach. So much.” I stare
at him while the air in the room feels like its weighing me down. My body
becomes on long shudder. This is it. I’ll never see him again. Never read to
him again. Never be with him again. He’s changed me so much in so little time
that I feel like I’ve known him forever. He’s shown me honesty and dignity.
Shown me to be truthful to even myself.
    And now I should be
truthful to him.  
    My tears spill across
his skin as I push the breathing tube on an angle and lean forward. “I love
you,” I whisper in a light breath and press my lips to his. They feel soft and
warm as they press against mine.
    Press
against mine.
    I stumble back as if
the light press of lips burned me and sob at the desperation that has me
imagining him returning my kiss. But beneath me, his blue eyes flutter open. He
turns his head ever so slightly and blinks, like he’s trying to focus, trying
to find me.
    “Zach?” I whisper as my
hand flies to my chest.
    His mouth opens but
only a soft moan comes out.
    “Awake!” I shout loudly
then cover my mouth only to pull it away and shout again, “Awake!” Instead of
the air pressing in on me, I’m now weightless with joy. Shock and happiness mix
until I’m a human ball of euphoria. “Awake!” I squeal again as footsteps sound
on the stairs.  
    Mrs. Wallace bursts in.
The nurse is right behind her.
    For a long second they
both stare at him blinking and silently moving his mouth. Mrs. Wallace bursts
into tears. The nurse rushes to his side yelling, “Call the doctor!”
    I step out of her way
until I’m pressed against the bookshelves. I watch the nurse check his signs
and his trembling mother push phone buttons. She shouts at the doctor on the
other end before laughing uncontrollably.
    Then I just watch him
before they shove me out the door.

~10~

 
 
 
 
    I think of what brought me to this
moment while I wait on the side of the stage. It’s been over three months since
they shooed me out of the room and out of Zach’s life. For whatever reason his
mother won’t answer my calls. Though she did send me a huge floral arrangement.
I still miss him every day, but knowing he’s alive helps soothe the ache. I
wonder how he’s doing, if he’s going to school, how his eighteenth birthday
went, and yes, if he’s dating someone.
    I watched the news and
local paper like a hawk since that day, and was only partially surprised to
read that his friend Matt, before Zach was even awake for a full forty-eight
hours, confessed to pushing him off the cliff. Though sad for Matt, I was
ecstatic that Zach hadn’t jumped. Really only a very tiny part of me believed
he could do such a thing. However, I was hardly surprised three weeks later to
read that still recovering from coming out of a coma, Zach