Slow Dancing with a Stranger by Meryl Comer Read Free Book Online Page A

bitter during the entire conversation. Throughout his career, Harvey always promoted women scientists. His deputy was a woman, and he supported women’s careers. Now I felt that they were looking for a way to force Harvey out. I could never be entirely sure whether he had said the things the women claimed he did.
    One of the devastating effects of the illness is that it lowers people’s inhibitions. They often say and do socially inappropriate things as incipent dementia takes hold. Still, some of the claims seemed contrived. If the charges stuck, it would make Harvey ineligible for his pension and leave a tarnished footnote that overshadowed his remarkable career.
    It took less than a day to resolve his case. Harvey would retire with disability but would no longer be permitted on the NIH campus, effective immediately. For over thirty years, this place had been the center of Harvey’s daily existence. He knew every corner of the campus, and now he was no longer welcome there. We drove home in silence. Only I fully understood that this was the end.
    â€œAnd what will be his legacy?” I wondered in the days and weeks and months that followed. From time to time, there was a call from a former colleague inquiring about Harvey’s health. But Harvey was too distracted to make conversation, and I barely knew the people he had seen every day for decades. Most conversations tapered off into awkward silence. We had a few visitors at the beginning, but this too was excruciating to watch. He had trouble remembering them by name, and they certainly were unable to recognize the person he had sadly become. In the end, even these few visitors stopped coming by. It was just the two of us in the house, but I realized I was alone.

THREE
TWO UNCERTAIN WORLDS
    T he first Monday morning after Harvey had been banned from the NIH campus, he paced aimlessly around our home like a man under house arrest. He was dressed for work, but he had nowhere to go.
    Harvey had only selective recall of what had happened at the fateful meeting at the NIH. Sadly, I reminded him that he had no options right now, but to work from home. “Love, let’s think of it as a sabbatical until we find out what’s wrong.” That’s all I could say as I cleared the dining room table to arrange an office on the first floor. But he had latched onto the notion that I was the one responsible for his predicament. That made me the prime target for his unpredictable and unprovoked rage.
    I was already late for work but afraid to leave him alone. Our housekeeper, Anna, had been with the family for years. Harvey’s paranoia was growing and this was no time to bring in a stranger, so I had hired Anna’s daughter, Olga, who worked as a nursing aide in a Quaker-run assisted living facility, to be his part-time companion.
    I knew we were fortunate to be able to bring in help, but even then, I was already worried about our finances. Harvey had been forced into early retirement, and his disability pension was $59,000 a year. He had no long-term care insurance. My career was also in transition. After eighteen years as a syndicated business show host and news anchor, my new assignment was to lead the re-launch of the U.S. Chamber Foundation. Under the circumstances, I wasn’t sure how long I could keep working.
    Even with hired backup, the act of leaving the house for work was an arduous task. Harvey’s doctor prescribed a sedative to be given if he got too agitated. As a precaution that morning, I slipped half a tablet in with his vitamins. Harvey spit them back at me. I gave up trying, anxious to deflect any confrontation. Then I called his lawyer who was prepared to recap with Harvey why he could not go back to NIH. We both hoped that hearing the familiar voice of a trusted friend might calm and defuse his misplaced anger. I reminded Olga not to let Harvey out of her sight as I slipped out the front door and headed off to work.
    That