Society of Heroes with Indeterminate Talent by Sebastian H. Alive Read Free Book Online Page B

floor and placed it directly in front of Agent Two.  He then raised his right leg onto the cushion of the chair and rolled up his trouser leg exposing his incredibly smooth leg.
    “Now look here, Agent Two," he said.  "See this shaven pin?  Run you hand down my leg.”
    “Sorry sir, I think I misheard you.”
    “Come run your hand down my leg and feel how smooth and silky it is.  That’s an order, agent.”
    "Are you being serious, sir?"
    "I'm a very serious man, agent.  Now caress my leg and tell me what it feels like."
    Agent Two raised his hand hesitantly and approached the chair before glancing back at Agent One who was still hunched down with a look of amusement on his face.  With a grimace on his face he gently stroked the General's leg, then swiftly pulled it away.
    "So?" asked the General.
    "It has the velvety smoothness of a peach, sir."
    "And what emotions does it stir in you?"
    "I feel slightly nauseous, sir."
    "My legs are far too hairy for my liking," muttered the General, rolling down his trouser leg.  "That’s why I get rid of my hair.  I used an epilator just this morning.  You know what else is not to my liking?  Both of your decision making.  From the outside looking in you can't understand it, and from the inside looking out, you still can't understand it.  It's practically bringing tears to my eyes right now.  I've got the Commissioner of Police and the president of the Association of Chief Police Officers chewing my balls.  The Department of Homeland Security wants urgent talks with me.  The National Security Secretariat has been ringing me on the hour; MI6 and MI5 are watching us like hawks, the National Domestic Extremism and Disorder Intelligence Unit are tracking our every movement and the Prime Minister has called an urgent cabinet meeting.  Do you two understand why this is?"
    "No sir." the agents said.
    "It's because they all think we're troublemakers and troublemakers in our ranks waste no time in turning the place upside down.  I will not have this agency being made into a mockery.  Our briefing is quite clear and we need to be seen getting results out there or they'll close this operation down faster than I can shave my bikini line.  It’s a battle out on those streets and you need to be seen to winning it.  Am I clear, agents?"
    "But I thought we were getting results, sir?" queried Agent One with a frown on his face.
    The General sneered and moved over to his desk and scooped up a wad of paper and stabbed at it with his hand before rounding on them,
    "Results?" he snapped.  "Where do I start?  Okay, here is a letter of intent from the lawyer of a certain Mr. Titus Monrel with his intention to sue.  You handled this one didn’t you Agent One?  The client states he was falsely accused of armed robbery and that he was the victim and had his human rights violated amongst other things that was violated.  Further he claims defamation of character that was racially motivated and that he was unlawfully incapacitated to unconsciousness, where he also believes he may have been sexually assaulted…and not in a nice way.  When he woke he had his possessions removed and let me just read them out to you.  Here we go, let me just list these off.  One gold bracelet, one phone, two gold crowns, a knife, his shoes, trousers and underpants."
    "Sir, out of curiosity how does Mr. Monrel believe he was sexually assaulted?" asked Agent One.
    "He had a butt plug hanging out of his ass."
    "A butt plug?"
    "Yes Agent One, a toy designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure."
    "Ahhhh…" replied Agent One.  "That probably happened after we left."
    "Police are urging the public to come forward.  So Agent One, how do I make this one go away?"
    "An all-white jury?" offered Agent One weakly.
    Agent Two chuckled and the General snapped his head in his direction and raised his eyebrows.
    "Is something amusing you, agent?"
    "No, sir."
    "Well, let's see.  Next we have a commuter