Soldier On by Sydney Logan Read Free Book Online Page B

Halloween, and I talked my mom into making them. She went to the store to buy butter and sugar, and she never came back. I was ten years old.”
    “Oh, Brandon—”
    “I blamed myself, of course. Kids are good at that. I just didn’t understand. From that day on, I hated Halloween and caramel apples. Still do. It’s not rational, and I know that, but old habits are hard to break, and childhood wounds run deep.”
    Steph slides closer and places her head on my shoulder. Her hair smells like peaches and cream, and I close my eyes, burning the scent into my memory.
    I never want to forget it.
    “I’m sorry you lost your mom.”
    “I’m sorry you lost your dad.”
    The winter wind blows across our faces. She’s wearing a jacket, but she trembles anyway. I wrap my arms around her, and she slides closer. For the first time in hours, I finally feel myself relax.
    This isn’t normal. It can’t be.
    “Why is this so easy?” I ask her.
    She laughs a little. “It wasn’t so easy last night. Why did you get upset? I mean, we haven’t talked much about your dad. Was he in the military or something?”
    I close my eyes. Have I never mentioned I’m in Army ROTC? How has that never come up in conversation? And what about the New Year’s Eve costume? Did she really think the camo and war paint was just some random disguise?
    “My dad served two tours in Vietnam.”
    Her eyes widen. “Vietnam?”
    “Yeah, Dad’s sixty-four. My folks waited until he was retired before having kids. Mom always said she didn’t want to be a single mother, and she would have been. Dad was married to the military.” I laugh, but it’s not at all humorous. “It’s ironic. She waited until he was retired, and then she left him.”
    “That’s crazy.”
    “Welcome to my world.”
    “Have you seen her since?”
    I shake my head. “She’s called a few times. I have nothing to say to her. My sister raised me. Dad . . . tried his best, but military discipline and parental discipline are two very different things. He had a hard time distinguishing between the two.”
    “He was on hard you,” she says softly.
    “He wasn’t cruel, but he was tough. Very structured. Very rigid. I rebelled hard when I was a teenager. We clashed a lot.”
    “Is your relationship better now?”
    Up until three years ago, my relationship with my father was the best it had ever been, due to the fact that I was doing exactly what he wanted and joined the Army. But now . . .
    “I’m sorry. Is that too personal?”
    I smile sadly and shake my head.
    “It’s just a little hard to answer, that’s all.”
    She nods as if she understands before placing her head back on my shoulder.
    “We should go,” I say after a while. “The sun’s going down. It’s just going to get colder.”
    “Okay.”
    Taking her hand, I help her to her feet, and I don’t let it go, not even when we’re past the rocky terrain and back on the concrete sidewalk that stretches through campus.
    Steph looks up at me. “Are you still mad?”
    “No. I understand why you feel the way you do. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.”
    “That’s fair,” Steph says. Then she laughs. “But you know what’s not fair? Having to find a new roommate.”
    “Who’s looking for a new roommate?”
    “I am. Tessa and Xavier are moving in together. With utilities, our place is about $600 a month. I need to find a roommate because I can’t afford it by myself. Plus, I’d like to stay there because our building is one of the few that allows pets. I can always move back home with my mom, but then I’ll be commuting. That thought doesn’t exactly thrill me.”
    I quickly do the math in my head. I could totally afford that.
    “Umm, Steph?”
    “I placed an ad on Peyton Central, hoping someone out there needs a place to live, but the only people who replied are guys probably looking for a girlfriend and—”
    “Steph, I—”
    “It’s just completely depressing and I really