Some Like It Hopeless (A Temporary Engagement) by Megan Bryce Read Free Book Online Page B

and in quiet moments, when too much wine had been drunk, both Kenny and Tom would cry at their luck. So lucky to find the one who could heal hurts when they’d been so young. They’d had so many years together, so many memories, and they’d always had each other. They’d never been alone.
    Shane and Christian walked slowly to the car, silently, and Shane didn’t realize Christian was angry until he said, “Why did you bring me to meet them?”
    His voice was low, his hands clenched. At meeting Kenny and Tom.
    Shane’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t like them?”
    “Was it to trick me into admitting that I’m. . .that I’m like them.”
    “I don’t need to trick you. And I don’t need you to admit anything.”
    “I don’t want to be like them, like that.”
    Shane pushed down his own anger and said with as much calm as he could muster, “You don’t want to be happy? You don’t want to be loved? You don’t want to be authentic?” He waved at Christian’s shirt. “This is what you’d rather be, an actor? An actor dressing in a costume and saying lines you don’t believe.”
    “It’s not an act, Shane. This is who I am.”
    Shane shook his head. “You know, every once in a while I get a glimpse of the real Christian. He’s funny and geeky and silly. He’s unapologetic, and every time he comes out to play I fall head over heels in love with him. But you hide him. Because he’s been hurt over and over again. He’s been rejected over and over again.”
    Shane’s anger dissipated as quickly as it came because he knew that was the truth.
    Shane didn’t reach for Christian’s hand, here in public, even though he wanted to. “I wanted to show you Kenny and Tom because that’s what I want for us in forty years. I didn’t show them to you to trick you, I brought you here to show what is possible. What love can look like, because I don’t think you’ve ever seen it before.”
    Christian got in the car, slamming the door behind him. Shane didn’t follow. He leaned against the trunk of the car and folded his arms, and finally felt rejected himself. It had taken thirty years; he should feel lucky it had taken this long.
    He didn’t.
    He wasn’t sure he could handle the rejection any better than Christian had. Christian didn’t want to be like them , he didn’t want to be like that .
    Shane had shown Christian the most beautiful thing he knew of and Christian couldn’t see it. Didn’t want it. Didn’t think it was beautiful.
    The car door opened slowly and Christian said quietly, “I’ve seen love. But you’re right, I’ve never seen it in that combination before.”
    Shane blinked rapidly, tipping his head up. He turned to look at Christian, who sat with his head in his hands, his shoulders slumped.
    Shane took a deep breath, preparing for rejection again, but asking anyway. “But you saw it today. Didn’t you?”
    Christian stayed silent, continued to stare a hole in the pavement. And Shane remembered what Tom had said. That sometimes there was only hope.
    Christian finally looked up, looked at Shane and said, “I saw it today.”
    Until, suddenly, hope was no longer needed.

    They drove to the beach and walked through the sand. Shane didn’t touch Christian, didn’t hold his hand, just walked next to him. Smiling and watching the sun worshipers, the volleyball players, the muscle men.
    Christian looked away from the skimpy swimsuits and out to the horizon. He stared at where the sky met the ocean, disappearing and blending into one.
    His whole life he’d struggled. Fought himself.
    He’d tried so hard to be good . But it had always been an act. He’d always had to work at being acceptable, to not do things that made his family uncomfortable. To not hear that worried silence that happened after he said or did something not quite right.
    He stared at the ocean and missed his home. He missed his mountains.
    California was full of hills but there was nothing here like the mountains in