Song of the Silent Snow by Hubert Selby Jr. Read Free Book Online Page A

was the fact that he knew this would change his life. Every aspect of it. A house in Connecticut with trees and a garden. A summer place in Marthas Vineyard. Cars. A boat. Yeah ... maybe a forty foot sloop and he would sail before the wind feeling the spray and breeze on his face ...
    But he would be functioning on the Corporate level now ....
    The thought was frightening. How could he possibly function on that level? How could he possibly make a speech before the Board of Directors (the mere thought sent tremors through his mind and body) giving them progress reports ... advising them of projected sales ... O krist, thats right. I/d have to continue making deals like this. I/d have a position to maintain! How could I do it? This one was a fluke. Theres no way I can do this again ... Jesus, the Board wouldnt be satisfied for long theyd want it done again and again and again ...
    O God, I cant do it. I could never take the pressure - he glanced at the pile of broken fortune cookies in his wastepaperbasket - I wouldnt know what to do. Being a salesman is one thing, but Corporate Staff ... the responsibility ...
    and he/d be stuck with the house in Connecticut and the summer place in Marthas Vineyard and the boat and cars ... O God, no ... no ...
    He felt icy cold and shivered as panic twisted itself through then around him, squeezing him tighter and tighter, making it almost impossible to breathe ... He struggled to gulp air into his lungs, then leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk and held his head, sinking deeper and deeper into his despair ...
    Then he noticed something in the newspaper on his desk At first it was a blur but something forced his attention to that area and he found he could not move his gaze away from it. He blinked his eyes until his vision cleared and he realized he was staring at the daily horoscope, his horoscope for today: Today is the day to assert yourself. Great opportunities are yours if you just take the bull by the horns. Dont take no for an answer. He read it over ... then again ... at first just the words got through, and then their meaning, his body becoming more and more erect as he read, his face relaxing into a smile ...
    then he slammed his hand down, hard, on the paper and jumped to his feet, Of course! Thats it! I knew it! I just knew it! I knew today was my day!!!! Thank God Im not superstitious or I might have let those damn cookies ruin my life. Now I know how to do it - tapping the paper - right there all the time. Haha, theres no way I can be stopped now! He snatched the signed contract from his desk and went to the Executive Wing to advise the President in person that he had wrapped up the deal. After all, he may just as well start getting used to his new neighborhood!!!!
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    A Penny for Your Thoughts
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    He didnt think of her breasts at first. He simply noticed how attractive she was. And too it was extremely unusual to see a young girl without makeup. She probably was no more than 18. He was waiting for the subway after work and she was standing among the crowd with a few friends. She wore a black coat and a black kerchief. Her skin appeared very white and her eyes were dark and sparkled. He kept glancing at her. He stood near them on the train and was surprised when they got off at his stop. He walked slowly and tried to listen to their conversation, but the only thing he heard distinctly was her name: Marie. A block from the station she said goodbye to her friends and turned along the avenue and he continued home.
    The next morning he saw her on the station. He stood near her trying to determine the color of her eyes, but couldnt (at least not without being obvious) and was amazed again at her natural beauty, not glamorous, but quiet, exciting. They got off at DeKalb Avenue and he walked slowly up the stairs behind her and her girl-friends hoping he might see a bit more of her legs, but she held her coat tightly around her and