Speed of Light by Amber Kizer Read Free Book Online Page B

pattern.
By four a.m. I should be inhaling java and sugary glazes
. Food brought me comfort and did more to make me feel normal than any of Tony’s reassurances and soft words.
Doesn’t he realize that every time I look at him I am reminded of my dead parents? My unknown history?
    Tonight I woke confused and unsure of my surroundings. Kirian was in my dreams.
Again
. He was back, confiding secrets in this bedroom. A room starved of the usual smells of foodstuffs. Instead, clouds of cloying sandalwood and patchouli choked out any oxygen. Only itssickly spicy scent clogged my throat, making breathing nearly impossible.
    Air. I need air
. Clawing at the covers and tossing pretty pillows aside, I rolled to my feet and stumbled to the window. I threw it open with such force I expected the glass to shatter. My lungs and stomach heaved as I gasped, leaning out over Main Street.
Empty. Not a single soul. Deserted
. Even the last of the bar patrons were tucked in at home and sleeping. Not me. Sleep came hard and in spurts of exhaustion.
    I threw a leg across the sill and braced my back against the wall, much like I sat in my tree in the middle of the creek.
I’m fine
. I’d adapted to this new place and the new people.
Or not
. Slanting much of my body into the night air, I inhaled greedily, trying to recognize and orient. My eyes tried to focus on the merciful glow from the windows of art galleries below, illuminating colors from paintings and sculptures displayed behind clear panes. Even the clothing boutiques lit their windows, with textures and rainbows of real life, at all hours. Sweat dried on my chest and broke goose bumps along my arms.
    The air was thick and tugged at me. Muggy. Heavy.
What are you doing, Juliet? Pretending to be normal? To have moved on? What a joke. Wait till they see who you really are
.
    Where is Mini?
She’d come to me less and less since my sixteenth birthday. As if she didn’t have a use for me anymore. As if I was supposed to figure this out myself.
How? How do I keep going? Betray to protect? Save themto lose them forever?
Panic gripped at my heart. At least they’d be alive to hate me.
    My mind whirled in a million different directions.
Breathe. Walk. Breathe. Think. DG is gone
. Nothing worked to stave off anxiety. Eyes closed or open, I saw Kirian’s face tangled up in the ivy tendrils peering down at me. Haunting me. Why couldn’t he love me like he promised?
What is wrong with me?
    She was back. I sniffed the air, hoping for a scent of the familiar. No scents filled the air around me. Not a clove of garlic or a leaf of basil. Nothing. I swallowed bile as it crept up the back of my throat. I glanced at the clock. A few hours from dawn. I climbed back into my room. Dare I open the door to the rest of the condo? What if Ms. Asura’s out there? An irrational fear, maybe.
Or not. She is everywhere I go
.
    I leaned my head against the slick white door; my hand hovered above the door handle. It moved.
No, it didn’t
. I gagged, tears slashing down my cheeks.
Nononononononono!
    Tony was helping at a shelter downtown. He’d told me to call him anytime. I’d said I was fine. A hollow laugh bubbled up.
Fine? This is fine?
    I picked up the phone. Started punching in the numbers to call him, confide my fears. I forced myself to press the first few: 3-1-7—
    She’ll hurt him. She’ll hurt all of them. I can’t
. I tossed the phone onto the bed and tugged on shorts over panties so new they didn’t feel like mine. A jacket went overmy sleep shirt. I slipped into flip-flops. The messy bun on my head slipped low like it was trying to break free.
I know the feeling
. I yanked open my bedroom door and sprinted down the hallway, never slowing, flying down two flights of stairs. Grabbing the front door, I bounded down the outside steps without looking back. Made it. Now what?
Run
.
    Main Street was quiet, except on weekends near the restaurants and bars. Tonight it was easy to slip between cars and