Spooky Hijinks by Madison Johns Read Free Book Online Page B

alone?”
    “He’s not alone. His son Henry is here, too.”
    “Lead the way,” Eleanor chimed in. “What a charming place.”
    “We’ll be remodeling soon. This house is more a diamond in the rough,” Elsie explained.
    I gave Marjory and Bill Hays a wave, noticing that they were pouring chips into a bowl in the dining room. They were a riot usually, since Marjory loved to talk about her recent medical issues. I just hoped that they wouldn’t revolve around intestinal difficulties, as she had a tendency to focus on such things.
    “Lead the way, Elsie. It would be rude of me not to go outside and say hello to Jack.”
    Elsie sighed. “Do you mean that, or are you being your sarcastic self, Agnes?”
    I kinda was, but instead of admitting it, I said, “Oh, no. I think it’s great you and Jack shacking up ... oops, I mean living together.”
    “Now, Agnes, be nice. It’s perfectly okay for Elsie to do just whatever she has a mind to do. We’re not much different than Elsie with our men, except, of course, we’re engaged.”
    “True. Hey, Elsie. We might need your expertise. We have decided to have a double wedding on Christmas Day and don’t quite know how to go about making arrangements on such short notice.”
    Elsie’s eyes widened. “As in this Christmas, like in one week’s time?”
    Bill Hays walked over and gave Andrew a pat on the back. “It’s about time you made Agnes an honest woman, old man. I’m surprised she finally plans to go through with the wedding, since she’s always been a hard woman to pin down.”
    “I’m not sure where you ever heard that rumor from,” I said.
    “But it’s true,” Marjory said, joining her husband in the conversation. “You’ve dated plenty of men since your husband died all those years ago, but never were able to get a proposal out of them.”
    “T-That’s not true. Sure, I dated in my forties and fifties, but I haven’t ever dated anyone from the Tawas area. I never really wanted to get married again until I reconnected with Andrew when he came to town.”
    “That’s not what we heard,” the Hayses chimed.
    “I’m not sure who would say a thing like that,” I said.
    Cutting me off, Martha raised her brow. “Oh, really? Please, do share.”
    “Well,” Bill began, “there was this mailman that we once heard you dated. Woody Wadsworth.”
    I gulped, bile threatening to escape as my body stiffened.
    “Oh, I had forgotten all about Woody,” Eleanor said. When I gave her my “be quiet” look, she backed down. “I mean, that is a vicious and totally unsubstantiated rumor.”
    “Is that right?” Andrew asked. “I’d love to hear all about, er ... Woody. We might even have to trade notes.”
    “That’s not funny, Andrew,” I hissed from between clenched teeth. “Unless we all want to dredge up our pasts.” I smiled. “I heard when you were in the army, Bill, that Marjory—”
    “Agnes is right, Bill,” Marjory said. “Most of us can barely remember the past. There’s no sense talking about it.”
    We all had a good laugh about that one, and I cringed even thinking about Woody. He had seemed nice enough until I went out with him. I took quite the pawing on the occasion, but that was some ten years ago. In that case, Eleanor had tried to warn me about the man, but I didn’t listen. Being a woman sometimes means you have to get out of a car in the middle of the night and walk home after a date gets too frisky. Luckily, the man wasn’t any kind of sex offender. It was just a reminder for me to be much more careful in the future, which I had been after that incident.
    “Right this way, Agnes,” Elsie said. Once we made our way up a long hallway with Eleanor following, she added, “I went out with Woody once, too, but don’t you dare tell the others. He’s really a creepy guy. I’ve seen him hanging out at Tim Horton’s, and the one time he tried to talk to me, I couldn’t get out of that place fast enough.”
    She stopped,