to stop you falling. My hands are slippery and shaky and I can’t hold on anymore. I drop, slither, stumble and crash my way back to the floor, quick as I can. I take a moment to stop being scared.
Then I tell the others everything I heard.
We stare at each other.
A priceless vase, disappeared from an apartment where all the doors were locked.
‘Cool!’ I say.
‘ Freaky ,’ says Vee.
‘We have to google this,’ says Jessie.
Then Baby starts crying inside and Alice calls, ‘Homework! Now!’
We run into the lounge room and I do a leapfrog over Vee onto the couch. She falls on top of me, giggling.
‘Oops, ow – get off me!’ I laugh.
Baby stops crying and does his cutest chuckles .
Jessie sets up her homework at the kitchen table and starts working with her head down. Vee and I spread our things out. Then we make up a game where you pretend to jump on Baby and miss just at the last minute. He thinks it’s the best thing ever.
Alice starts clattering in the kitchen and Dad walks in wearing his cycling clothes. His legs look so skinny and funny.
‘Hello!’ He comes round and gives us all forehead-kisses .
‘Hi, Tom,’ Jessie and Vee say, as they get my traditional Dad-hello.
I’m not used to them getting the same treatment as me, so I have to go back for more. I jump up on his back while he’s cuddling Alice.
‘Ooof!’ We all stumble into the bench and Alice giggles.
‘You’re getting a bit heavy for that, Squisho ,’ Dad says.
I slide down his back, onto the floor. ‘Hey, did you know a vase disappeared from the apartment upstairs?’
Dad grins. ‘Oh and I suppose Mr Hinkenbushel stole it, hey?’
Dad’s joking because every time something goes wrong, I think it’s Mr Hinkenbushel’s fault.
‘ Daaaad ,’ I say, whacking his leg. ‘It wasn’t Mr Hinkenbushel, it was a burglar. Or a ghost!’
‘ Ow! ’ he says. ‘You’re scarier than a burglar and a ghost combined.’
I hit his leg again for good measure, and he takes Baby to change his nappy and have a shower.
But then I wonder about it. Mr Hinkenbushel is going to be investigating. What will he find?
After dinner, I sit on the couch and skype Mum in Geneva.
‘Hi, Squishy. Hi, Jessie,’ she says, waving from her desk.
I didn’t realise Jessie was behind me. ‘Hi, Devika,’ Jessie says, leaning her elbows on the back of the couch.
‘What’s going on?’ Mum asks.
‘Well,’ Jessie says. ‘Squishy gets shotgun on the iPad while she’s talking to you, but we desperately need to google things.’
Vee leans over my other shoulder. ‘So we’re here to hurry you up.’
Mum laughs, but I’m a bit annoyed. First they get my special Dad-forehead-kiss , then they butt in on my skype with Mum.
‘What do you need to google?’ Mum asks.
Jessie doesn’t even stop to think. ‘Ming Dynasty vases and the Opium Wars.’
How does she remember that stuff? She wasn’t even the person who heard it first.
‘Well,’ says Mum, leaning back. ‘I can tell you about the Opium Wars.’ Of course she can. Mum knows everything about international relations. That’s why she works at the UN. ‘Basically, the Chinese refused to buy opium from the British, so the British went to war with them.’
‘What?’ Vee says. ‘Why?’
‘To force the Chinese to buy opium.’
‘But that’s crazy!’ Vee says.
Mum does her sideways smile and nods. ‘Crazy,’ she agrees.
‘So then,’ Jessie says, scooting round to sit next to me, ‘what would it mean that a vase was “acquired during the Opium Wars”?’
Mum laughs. ‘It means some British pirate stole the vase from its rightful owner.’
‘Pirates!’ Vee says. ‘Awesome!’ She makes a hook hand and wrinkles her face. ‘ Arrrrr! ’
Mum laughs even harder. She actually thinks Vee is funny.
‘OK, guys,’ I say. ‘Go away! Let me talk to my mum now.’
‘Sorry, sweetie,’ Mum says. ‘Gotta run. My next meeting started three minutes ago. Love you,