Stalking the Vampire by Mike Resnick Read Free Book Online Page A

practically choked holding back a self-satisfied chuckle.
    â€œHow about Aristotle Draconis?” asked Mallory, ignoring his pun. “Tall, skinny, definitely not a newcomer to the practice.”
    â€œNo, I'd remember a name like that.”
    â€œOkay,” said Mallory with a grimace. “Thanks anyway.” He turned to leave.
    â€œIs your young friend from America?” asked the man.
    â€œYes.”
    â€œToo bad. The Acme Coffin Company, down on forty-eight, is having aspecial on soil from the Old Country. Sooner or later your young friend is going to have to sleep—though probably not until morning. If he was from Transylvania, he'd have to find an outlet that sells his native soil, unless he brought it along with him. And now,” he concluded, “if there's nothing further, I'm going to be closing the office down until tomorrow.”
    â€œI would have thought you did most of your business at night,” remarked Mallory.
    â€œOh, absolutely we do—but this is All Hallows' Eve, my good sir. It's our night to howl.” He suddenly looked embarrassed. “Well, to squeak, anyway.”
    Mallory walked to the door. “Thanks for your time.”
    â€œI'm sorry I couldn't help you,” said the man. “But you might consider making the usual rounds before the partying really gets hot and heavy.”
    â€œThe usual rounds?”
    â€œThe young man is aware of the pending transformation, is he not? I mean, that's why you thought he might come here.”
    â€œRight.”
    â€œWell, then, he's going to have to prepare for some major changes in his lifestyle. For example, he'll need super-strength sunscreen. No more than half a dozen pharmacies carry it. He'll need highly polarized shades…sunglasses to the uninitiated. Sooner or later he has to eat, so he'll undoubtedly want to buy a portable AIDS testing kit before he consumes any of his victim's blood. If his canines are anything like your friend's there”—he pointed to McGuire—“he may want to visit a cosmetic dentist before they pierce a hole through his lip.”
    â€œThere's a lot more to being a vampire than I thought,” remarked Mallory.
    â€œOh, indeed there is, sir,” agreed the man. “If you would like to come back tomorrow, we can continue our discussion, but I really must close up shop now.”
    Mallory walked out of the office, followed by the portly man, who locked the door and headed off to the elevator.
    â€œLearn anything?” asked McGuire.
    â€œA bit about vampires,” replied the detective. “Nothing about Rupert or Draconis.”
    â€œThere are still a few lights on,” said McGuire.
    â€œWe'll look, but I don't think we're going to find anything.”
    They began walking down the corridor, with Mallory reading the signs aloud as they went: “Anemics Anonymous…Transformations, Inc…. The Lonely Veins Club…You know, if I hadn't seen the bites on Winnifred and the kid, I'd have a hard time believing some of this.”
    McGuire suddenly stopped as they came to a haberdashery. “Look at those velvet capes!” he exclaimed. “I would kill for a cape like that!”
    â€œI think that may be a prerequisite to wearing it,” replied Mallory.
    â€œAnd that salesgirl!” enthused the little vampire. “Look at the teeth on her! She can bite my neck any time she wants!”
    â€œStop drooling on my shoe.”
    â€œMy God, what a pair of wings she must have!”
    The salesgirl looked up and saw McGuire staring at her. For a moment she looked surprised. Then she gave him a big toothy smile.
    â€œThat's it!” announced McGuire. “I'm in love!”
    â€œFine,” said Mallory, starting off. “Stay here. I've got work to do.”
    â€œYou don't mind?”
    â€œNo insult intended, but you haven't been all that useful so far.”
    â€œYou cut me to the quick,